Mind Management for the Busy Mom

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Being a mom is serious business.  Really, it is like running a business.  I don’t know about you but much of my personal time (and sometimes my work time) is devoted to logistics.  Kind of like doing a giant jigsaw puzzle.  Making all the pieces fit.  Who is going where, when, doing what and who will be the driver for instance.  And, guess what, I am the manager of all of it.

I found that in order to be a good “manager” of my household, I needed to be a good “manager” of my mind.  There are all kinds of management systems out there.  You name it and you can find a management system for it.  It makes sense to me that if we manage our minds first, we will be much more successful at managing diet, exercise, time, productivity, behavior and on and on and on.

Ultimately, it is our thoughts that create our reality.  Mind management is the key to well-being and happiness.  Don’t believe me?  Check out the research that has been done at Baylor, Princeton or Stanford to name a few. 

Thoughts have power.  And so do words.  It is important to pay attention to your thoughts and the words you put out into the world. 

Mind management begins with replacing common thoughts with empowered ones.  Common thoughts are simply the patterns of thinking that have been ingrained in you.  You know the ones I’m talking about.  The ones that remind you of all the ways you suck.  

It takes practice but I am living proof that you can replace “I suck” thoughts with “I rock” thoughts. Make a vow to choose empowered thinking and empowered language every day.  Catch yourself and tell yourself a new story. If you fumble, use the mantra “Every day and in every way I am getting better and better”. With time, you will start believing it.

And, ultimately, thrive in motherhood.

Do you have a favorite empowering phrase?  Please share it in the comments below.  Yours may just be the phrase that changes another mom’s life.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy

P.S. Do you need help managing your mind? I’ve created an easy cheat sheet to help you make the shift from common thinking to thoughts of empowerment.  Download it for free using the button below. 


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Free Download

Mind Management for the Busy Mom Cheat Sheet


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How to Use Your Discontent to Thrive in Motherhood

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It’s no secret that being a mother is challenging.  In fact, in my opinion, it is THE hardest job in the world.

There was a time, early on, when I focused solely on my woes and all of the difficulties I faced as a mother.  Anyone who knew me at that time may have thought that I was a raving lunatic. 

That’s exactly how I felt.  I hadn’t fully healed from the trauma surrounding my oldest child’s birth and, dang it, having 2 children under 2 is Just. Plain. Hard.

I had mastered my discontent.  I knew it well.  I began my day with it and sealed it into my dreams at night. 

Little did I know, there is an easy way out.  I learned through a series of trial and error that I could actually use my discontent as the driver to move my life in a new direction. 

Think of it this way.  We tend to create change in our lives in 2 ways. 

Intention from – moving away from our discontent. 

Intention toward – moving in the direction of a desired outcome.

Since many of us begin with intention from, I’ve created an easy 3 step process below to help you use your discontent to thrive in motherhood. 

Try this:

  1. Name Your Discontent:  What?  “I thought I was supposed to be reciting words of joy and positivity”, you may be saying to yourself.  Well, you heard me right.  As the late Louise Hay was known to say “you have to see the dirt in order to clean the house”.  It’s the same with your discontent.  Shine the light on it.  Take a look at it.  And then, write it out.  Line by line.  Name your discontent.

  2. Intention Toward:  Take each discontent and turn it into an intention toward.  I’ll give you a few examples to get you started.  Let’s say one of your discontents is “I’m exhausted”.  What you may really want is some energy to get you through the day.  Instead of saying “I’m exhausted”, you could say “I feel energetic throughout the day”, or whatever wording feels right for you.

  3. Take a Step:  Now that you have created an intention toward, make a list of steps you could take to feel more energetic throughout the day.  If the step feels too big, break it down into smaller steps.  Choose ONE step and integrate it into your life before moving on to the next.  For example: 

  • go to bed earlier

  • reduce sugar intake

  • take a brisk walk

  • solicit help

What is one step you can take using the process above?  Please share with a comment below.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy

*Do you need help turning your discontent into an intention toward?  I’ve created an easy cheat sheet to help you.  Download it for free using the button below.


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Free Download

How to Use Your Discontent to Thrive in Motherhood Work Sheet


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3 Reasons to Laugh More

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Have you laughed lately?  I mean a good, hearty belly laugh?

It is said that a child laughs nearly 300 times per day while the average adult laughs less than 20.  Whether this is accurate or not I’m not sure but I wouldn’t doubt it based on the hysterics I witness with my own children.

They laugh.  All day.  Even when they are trying not to in between big, fat, crocodile tears.  And, especially, when someone says BUTT (have you ever wondered how many times you say that word in a day?).

All jokes aside, research shows that laughter is the best medicine.  It has both short term and long term positive effects on stress, the leading cause of chronic health problems in the US.  In fact, Norman Cousins, author of Anatomy of an Illness, experimented with laughter himself and claimed that 10 minutes of belly laughing gave him two hours of pain free sleep.

  • Laughing is a natural state changer.  Have you ever tried a frown while laughing?  Try it.  I bet it will make you laugh.

  • Laughing increases the intake of oxygen into the heart and lungs.  There is even a form of yoga called Laughter Yoga.  It’s a hoot!

  • Laughing brings us back to the present moment.  We can only laugh in the present.  And, this is good news because we only have NOW.

What is your favorite way to get a laugh in?  Watching a funny movie?  Reading a funny book?  Watching your cat try to make her way out of a paper bag?  Or, maybe it’s laughing for the sake of laughing. Please share with a comment below.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy

*Are you laughing enough? Take the free assessment below to determine your laughter quota.


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Free Download

Determine your Laughter Quota for Increased Health and Well-Being


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Be Careful What You Wish For

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Did you ever wish for something that you really wanted but thought that it would never come true?

You know.  It's that thing that you feel deep down in your core.  Something you ponder while drifting off to sleep at night.  If only, you think to yourself. 

Well, I did too!

For me it was that elusive relationship with my father. The one I had been craving since childhood. Due to circumstances beyond my control I spent over 2 decades wishing and wanting. It felt so far out of my reach.

And today, I am pinching myself. 

The latest and greatest is that my father is moving to Raleigh. In September. He wants to be near me. To know his grandchildren. To be a part of our lives.

And, my heart is filled to overflowing.

I never imagined that it would happen...that is until I did.  I imagined it with all of my heart and soul.

And, I'm here to tell you that miracles do happen. They are everywhere if we open our eyes. Sometimes they are big and sometimes they are very small but they do happen.

This particular miracle began with changing my mind and moving toward what I want rather than pushing away from what I don't. Deciding for rather than wishing for. 

  • Deciding what I wanted
  • Believing that it would happen
  • Taking action on my desires

With this in mind, I am holding a Vision Board Workshop later this month.  To help you get super clear about what you want.  To keep it up close and in your awareness.  So that you can begin to take the steps necessary to bring your miracles into your life.

How about you? Any miracles occurring in your life? Please reply to this email and let me know regardless of how small they seem?  It lights me up to hear about all the goodness in the world.

Wishing you and yours peace, love, joy and many miracles!

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


Life by Design Vision Board Workshop

Saturday, September 29

10-4PM EST

Raleigh, NC

$75 (includes a delicious lunch from Sunflowers Cafe)

10 Best Parenting Quotes

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I hope these quotes resonate with you as much as they do with me.   

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


There is no such thing as a perfect parent.  So just be a real one.  ~ Sue Atkins
Don’t worry that children never listen to you, worry that they are always watching you.  ~ Robert Fulghum
The best kind of parent you can be is to lead by example.  ~ Drew Barrymore
Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed.  ~ Linda Wooten
Your kids watch you for a living.  It’s their job; it’s what they do.  That’s why it’s so important to try your best to be a good role model.  ~ James Lehman
It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings.  ~ Ann Landers
It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it myself. ~ Joyce Maynard
Treat a child as though he already is the person he’s capable of becoming.  ~ Haim Ginott
If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves.  ~ Carl Jung
Little eyes ears and hearts are always watching and learning how to navigate life through you.  Let them see you not just survive but thrive.  ~ Tracy Nolin Beerman

Do you need help being all you can be?  Studies show that daily affirmations can help reduce stress, boost well-being and increase confidence.  Click the Daily Affirmations button below and get Life By Design Daily Affirmations in your inbox.  Designed with care to remind you of who you are, what you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first one is the most important.)  Enjoy!

5 Must Do Daily Practices

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In the hustle and bustle of life as a mom it is imperative that we maintain consistent practices to help us stay sane throughout the day.  As painful as it feels sometimes, I start my day at 5:45 so that I have time to do these 5 practices daily.  It’s a way of filling my cup before tending to my family and my work.  They have all become integral parts of my life.

1. Walk ~ What are the benefits of walking you ask?  Let me count the ways...  Holistic health and wellness guru Dr Andrew Weil recommends walking as THE best exercise.  Not only does it do your body good but it also increases cognitive performance in the brain and reduces stress.  I choose a 30 minute morning nature walk as my daily go to exercise.

2. Yoga ~ 20 minutes of yoga each day will change your life.  I know this to be true.  After 25 years of yoga and years of experimenting with various healing modalities, I always return to the mat.  There is no better way that I know of to connect mind, body and soul.  And, yoga is a great stress reducer.

3. Meditate ~ Treat your mind as you would your body with the "mental hygiene" of meditation.  Contrary to popular belief, the practice of meditation is to bring your mind back to NOW whenever it wanders.  And, trust me, it will wander.  It is not about sitting with a blank mind for 30 minutes 3 times every day.  Start small with a 3 minute guided meditation and increase the time gradually.  Oh, did I mention that it reduces stress too?

4. Gratitude ~ After attending to my body and my mind, I begin each day by writing and connecting with 3 things I am grateful for.  Not only does gratitude feel good as I recall and focus on all the goodness in my life, but it also aligns me with the vibration of joy, happiness and abundance.  I like to call it the "back door to abundance".

5. Vision ~ Connecting with my vision daily is an absolute for me.  I read it, write it and "put it on" every day.  Living a vision driven life is THE most life giving way of living.  As I connect with my vision I BEcome the woman in it.  And so can you.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy

How do you begin your day?  Please share with a comment below.


Do you need help starting a daily routine?  Studies show that daily affirmations can help reduce stress, boost well-being and increase confidence.  Click the Daily Affirmations button below and get Life By Design Daily Affirmations in your inbox.  Designed with care to remind you of who you are, what you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first one is the most important.)  Enjoy!


Photo by Dreamstime Creative Commons Stock Photos

Motherhood is a Spiritual Journey

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Children open our hearts to more love and compassion than we ever thought possible.  They also open our hearts to vulnerability, fear and overwhelm like we've never experienced before. 

Motherhood is a spiritual journey.  It is “full catastrophe living” at its finest (thank you Jon Kabat-Zinn).  

I wouldn’t have believed it if you told me before I had them.  No one can quite prepare you for the beauty, the fear and everything in between. 

Nothing in life brings up our unresolved fears, hurts, anger, sadness, resentment, insecurities, trauma, abuse…like motherhood.  All of our wants, needs and shortcomings from childhood come screeching forward.

You see, our children are our greatest teachers.  They are mirrors into our souls.  They push our buttons and show us what we need to work on.  They give us unlimited opportunities for growth. 

We can either resist what they are here to teach us or we can accept the challenge.  Shine the light of awareness on what they are showing us and take the steps necessary to BEcome the role models they deserve.  One Foot Up at a time. 

It is a choice we all have.  Accept the challenge or resist it.

I chose to accept the challenge. 

It is a work in progress.  I am a work in progress.  It is an everyday, all day job.

It is the single most rewarding decision I have ever made for myself, my family and everyone I encounter.

I am doing it and so can you. 

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


Are you ready to take accept the challenge?  My journey began with daily affirmations.  Studies show that daily affirmations can help reduce stress, boost well-being and increase confidence.  Click the Daily Affirmations button below and get Life By Design Daily Affirmations in your inbox.  Designed with care to remind you of who you are, what you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first one is the most important.)  Enjoy!

Photo Credit:  Simon Rae on Unsplash

Free Yourself

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Our forefathers had a vision. 

They decided on the vision. 

They believed in the vision. 

They took action on the vision.

They built a support structure to protect the vision.

And, this week, we will be celebrating the 242nd birthday of the declaration of that vision.  The Declaration of Independence.  A declaration of freedom.

As we celebrate with fireworks, parades and festive gatherings, I’d like to invite you to celebrate yourself as well.

your life

your vision

your freedom

I invite you to draw up your own declaration.  Your own vision.


Try this:

Listen to your longings and discontent

Decide what you would love to be or do or have

Take action 


You have the freedom to free yourself.  To free yourself from the chains that hold you back from being all you are here to be.    

The time is now!  Declare it!

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


Do you need help drawing up your own vision?  Start here.  Studies show that daily affirmations can help reduce stress, boost well-being and increase confidence.  Click the Daily Affirmations button below and get Life By Design Daily Affirmations in your inbox.  Designed with care to remind you of who you are, what you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first one is the most important.)  Enjoy!


Photo Credit:  Mike Watson Dreamstime

Cultivating Worthiness

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At the end of a talk I gave recently, one of the participants asked me what I did to begin changing my life.  On my ride home that night I realized that I never really answered the question.  I answered the why – my son showed me that he needed me to be an empowered role model.  Not the what. 

After giving it some thought it was clear to me that the very first place I started was by increasing my sense of worthiness.  Hands down.  I HAD to believe I was worthy of a better life or I would never have been able to make the changes necessary. 

  • I would not have been able to let go of what no longer served me. 
  • I would not have been able to put myself and my self-care first. 
  • I would not have been able to establish boundaries and teach others how to treat me. 

It was uncomfortable. It was painful.  It upset my loved ones who had been so used to me being a certain way. 

Saying yes when I really wanted to say no.  Putting everyone else first. 

Holding my tongue when I had something important to say.  Being what others wanted me to be instead of being authentically me. 

Eventually the dust settled.  I became more comfortable in my new way of being.  My loved ones became more comfortable with my new way being. 

Once I changed my inner world, my outer world began to change.  I noticed books on my husband’s book shelf that I never thought he’d choose.  My mother, who I had been badgering to make a move, decided to move to town.  My dad and I began a new relationship with each other.  My tribe began to show up. 

It all began with this daily affirmation:  I AM Worthy. 

I read this affirmation day and night.  Night and day.  Until I believed it.  Until I understood that my worthiness comes from inside and that I didn’t need anything to be more worthy than I already was.

I still use affirmations.  All day.  Every day.  Because I am human and sometimes I forget that I am worthy just the way I am. 

And so are you.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


Do you need help cultivating worthiness?  Studies show that daily affirmations can help reduce stress, boost well-being and increase confidence.  Click the Daily Affirmations button below and get Life By Design Daily Affirmations in your inbox.  Designed with care to remind you of who you are, what you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first one is the most important.)  Enjoy!


Photo Credit:  Aki Tolentino on Unsplash

 

True Power

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True Power is living from possibility.

True Power is loving yourself warts and all.

True Power is shifting into greatness.

True Power is knowing your absolute yes and your absolute no.

True Power is celebrating yourself.

True Power is creating new patterns.

True Power is self-awareness.

True Power is taking inspired action.

True Power is living from gratitude.

True Power is knowing and honoring who you are.

True Power is filling your cup first.

True Power is listening to and acting on your inner wisdom.

True Power is allowing abundance.

True Power is making time for laughter.

True Power is committing to yourself.

True Power is recommitting to yourself.

True Power is recommitting to yourself again.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy

What does true power mean to you?


Do you need help realizing your true power?  Studies show that daily affirmations can help reduce stress, boost well-being and increase confidence.  Click the Daily Affirmations button below and get Life By Design Daily Affirmations in your inbox.  Designed with care to remind you of who you are, what you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first one is the most important.)  Enjoy!


Photo Credit:  Austin Schmid on Unsplash

Seeing the Light

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When the sky is dark and stormy, it is hard to remember that the sun always shines.  We know this to be true, but sometimes it feels as if the sun will never come out.

There are moments like that in each of our lives.  As if the dark clouds of our circumstances will never shift and we will never see the light of day.  But, just as the sun always shines behind the stormy sky, our true and shining self is always there, behind the circumstances, calmly awaiting our choice to see the light.

It may feel very real, like we are bound by the dark clouds of our circumstances.  The truth is that we bind ourselves to the dark clouds.  We have choice in every moment.  To shift our thinking and choose to see the light.  Think of the power in that.


Try This:

  • *Breathe baby breathe  Breath is a powerful function.  It is both voluntary and involuntary.  It can be used to energize or it can be used to calm.  However you use it, it will always bring you back to NOW.  To the present moment.
  • *A Grateful Heart  Seek abundance and you shall find it.  Start a gratitude journal.  Make a point every day to find 3 things you are grateful for.  You will begin to see an abundance of beauty in the world when you are looking for it.
  • *Shifting Perception  It is unrealistic to move straight from anger to joy but you can choose to make small shifts in your perception.  You can choose to think:

I AM shifting into peace.  I AM shifting into joy.  I AM shifting into seeing the light.


Slight shifts in our thinking can completely change the trajectory of our lives.  One thought at a time.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


Do you need help seeing the light?  Studies show that daily affirmations can help reduce stress, boost well-being and increase confidence.  Click the Daily Affirmations button below and get Life By Design Daily Affirmations in your inbox.  Designed with care to remind you of who you are, what you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first one is the most important.)  Enjoy!


Photo by Jake Givens on Unsplash

Complete Control

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Did you know that we have close to 60,000 thoughts a day?  Some of them are just bizarre, most of them are the same thoughts we had yesterday and most of those are negative.  They are the very thoughts that create our human suffering.  The deadly trio...fear, doubt and worry. 

Negative thoughts are patterns really.  Habits.  The mind loves patterns.  They run deep grooves in our minds.  These patterns eventually become limiting beliefs that can rob us of our joy if we let them. 

Thoughts create Feelings.

Feelings create Actions.

Actions create Results.  What our life is like.

Good news!  We have complete control over our thoughts.  In fact, it is the only thing we do have complete control over.  It takes constant practice.  Like working a muscle.  But it is as simple as replacing the negative thoughts with positive, empowering ones.  Simple but not easy, that is.

We become good at what we practice.  We've had so much practice in thinking limiting thoughts that we have gotten really good at them.  Imagine what our lives would be like if we took up empowered thinking.  Practicing every day.  Exercising the empowered thinking muscle.

It helps to have a list of replacement thoughts.  A list of thoughts we can turn to when the negative ones creep in, as they are prone to do.


Try this:

1.      WRITE:  Fold a piece of paper in half the long way.  On the left make a list of 10 negative thoughts and on the right make a list of positive, empowering thoughts that you can use to replace the negative ones.

2.      PAUSE: When you notice a negative thought, pause and re-frame  it.  Insert one of the new, empowering thoughts.

3.      PRACTICE, practice, practice


It’s all about noticing what you’re noticing.  Noticing that you are having a negative thought is progress, my friends!  It’s the first step in changing a habit.  So celebrate it and keep noticing.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


Do you need help practicing empowered thinking?  Studies show that daily affirmations can help reduce stress, boost well-being and increase confidence.  Click the START HERE button below and get Life By Design Daily Affirmations in your inbox.  Designed with care to remind you of who you are, what you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first one is the most important.)  Enjoy!

Photo by Jen Loong on Unsplash