How to Use Your Discontent to Thrive in Motherhood

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It’s no secret that being a mother is challenging.  In fact, in my opinion, it is THE hardest job in the world.

There was a time, early on, when I focused solely on my woes and all of the difficulties I faced as a mother.  Anyone who knew me at that time may have thought that I was a raving lunatic. 

That’s exactly how I felt.  I hadn’t fully healed from the trauma surrounding my oldest child’s birth and, dang it, having 2 children under 2 is Just. Plain. Hard.

I had mastered my discontent.  I knew it well.  I began my day with it and sealed it into my dreams at night. 

Little did I know, there is an easy way out.  I learned through a series of trial and error that I could actually use my discontent as the driver to move my life in a new direction. 

Think of it this way.  We tend to create change in our lives in 2 ways. 

Intention from – moving away from our discontent. 

Intention toward – moving in the direction of a desired outcome.

Since many of us begin with intention from, I’ve created an easy 3 step process below to help you use your discontent to thrive in motherhood. 

Try this:

  1. Name Your Discontent:  What?  “I thought I was supposed to be reciting words of joy and positivity”, you may be saying to yourself.  Well, you heard me right.  As the late Louise Hay was known to say “you have to see the dirt in order to clean the house”.  It’s the same with your discontent.  Shine the light on it.  Take a look at it.  And then, write it out.  Line by line.  Name your discontent.

  2. Intention Toward:  Take each discontent and turn it into an intention toward.  I’ll give you a few examples to get you started.  Let’s say one of your discontents is “I’m exhausted”.  What you may really want is some energy to get you through the day.  Instead of saying “I’m exhausted”, you could say “I feel energetic throughout the day”, or whatever wording feels right for you.

  3. Take a Step:  Now that you have created an intention toward, make a list of steps you could take to feel more energetic throughout the day.  If the step feels too big, break it down into smaller steps.  Choose ONE step and integrate it into your life before moving on to the next.  For example: 

  • go to bed earlier

  • reduce sugar intake

  • take a brisk walk

  • solicit help

What is one step you can take using the process above?  Please share with a comment below.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy

*Do you need help turning your discontent into an intention toward?  I’ve created an easy cheat sheet to help you.  Download it for free using the button below.


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Free Download

How to Use Your Discontent to Thrive in Motherhood Work Sheet


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10 Best Parenting Quotes

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I hope these quotes resonate with you as much as they do with me.   

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


There is no such thing as a perfect parent.  So just be a real one.  ~ Sue Atkins
Don’t worry that children never listen to you, worry that they are always watching you.  ~ Robert Fulghum
The best kind of parent you can be is to lead by example.  ~ Drew Barrymore
Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed.  ~ Linda Wooten
Your kids watch you for a living.  It’s their job; it’s what they do.  That’s why it’s so important to try your best to be a good role model.  ~ James Lehman
It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings.  ~ Ann Landers
It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it myself. ~ Joyce Maynard
Treat a child as though he already is the person he’s capable of becoming.  ~ Haim Ginott
If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves.  ~ Carl Jung
Little eyes ears and hearts are always watching and learning how to navigate life through you.  Let them see you not just survive but thrive.  ~ Tracy Nolin Beerman

Do you need help being all you can be?  Studies show that daily affirmations can help reduce stress, boost well-being and increase confidence.  Click the Daily Affirmations button below and get Life By Design Daily Affirmations in your inbox.  Designed with care to remind you of who you are, what you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first one is the most important.)  Enjoy!

Motherhood is a Spiritual Journey

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Children open our hearts to more love and compassion than we ever thought possible.  They also open our hearts to vulnerability, fear and overwhelm like we've never experienced before. 

Motherhood is a spiritual journey.  It is “full catastrophe living” at its finest (thank you Jon Kabat-Zinn).  

I wouldn’t have believed it if you told me before I had them.  No one can quite prepare you for the beauty, the fear and everything in between. 

Nothing in life brings up our unresolved fears, hurts, anger, sadness, resentment, insecurities, trauma, abuse…like motherhood.  All of our wants, needs and shortcomings from childhood come screeching forward.

You see, our children are our greatest teachers.  They are mirrors into our souls.  They push our buttons and show us what we need to work on.  They give us unlimited opportunities for growth. 

We can either resist what they are here to teach us or we can accept the challenge.  Shine the light of awareness on what they are showing us and take the steps necessary to BEcome the role models they deserve.  One Foot Up at a time. 

It is a choice we all have.  Accept the challenge or resist it.

I chose to accept the challenge. 

It is a work in progress.  I am a work in progress.  It is an everyday, all day job.

It is the single most rewarding decision I have ever made for myself, my family and everyone I encounter.

I am doing it and so can you. 

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


Are you ready to take accept the challenge?  My journey began with daily affirmations.  Studies show that daily affirmations can help reduce stress, boost well-being and increase confidence.  Click the Daily Affirmations button below and get Life By Design Daily Affirmations in your inbox.  Designed with care to remind you of who you are, what you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first one is the most important.)  Enjoy!

Photo Credit:  Simon Rae on Unsplash

Free Yourself

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Our forefathers had a vision. 

They decided on the vision. 

They believed in the vision. 

They took action on the vision.

They built a support structure to protect the vision.

And, this week, we will be celebrating the 242nd birthday of the declaration of that vision.  The Declaration of Independence.  A declaration of freedom.

As we celebrate with fireworks, parades and festive gatherings, I’d like to invite you to celebrate yourself as well.

your life

your vision

your freedom

I invite you to draw up your own declaration.  Your own vision.


Try this:

Listen to your longings and discontent

Decide what you would love to be or do or have

Take action 


You have the freedom to free yourself.  To free yourself from the chains that hold you back from being all you are here to be.    

The time is now!  Declare it!

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


Do you need help drawing up your own vision?  Start here.  Studies show that daily affirmations can help reduce stress, boost well-being and increase confidence.  Click the Daily Affirmations button below and get Life By Design Daily Affirmations in your inbox.  Designed with care to remind you of who you are, what you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first one is the most important.)  Enjoy!


Photo Credit:  Mike Watson Dreamstime

Cultivating Worthiness

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At the end of a talk I gave recently, one of the participants asked me what I did to begin changing my life.  On my ride home that night I realized that I never really answered the question.  I answered the why – my son showed me that he needed me to be an empowered role model.  Not the what. 

After giving it some thought it was clear to me that the very first place I started was by increasing my sense of worthiness.  Hands down.  I HAD to believe I was worthy of a better life or I would never have been able to make the changes necessary. 

  • I would not have been able to let go of what no longer served me. 
  • I would not have been able to put myself and my self-care first. 
  • I would not have been able to establish boundaries and teach others how to treat me. 

It was uncomfortable. It was painful.  It upset my loved ones who had been so used to me being a certain way. 

Saying yes when I really wanted to say no.  Putting everyone else first. 

Holding my tongue when I had something important to say.  Being what others wanted me to be instead of being authentically me. 

Eventually the dust settled.  I became more comfortable in my new way of being.  My loved ones became more comfortable with my new way being. 

Once I changed my inner world, my outer world began to change.  I noticed books on my husband’s book shelf that I never thought he’d choose.  My mother, who I had been badgering to make a move, decided to move to town.  My dad and I began a new relationship with each other.  My tribe began to show up. 

It all began with this daily affirmation:  I AM Worthy. 

I read this affirmation day and night.  Night and day.  Until I believed it.  Until I understood that my worthiness comes from inside and that I didn’t need anything to be more worthy than I already was.

I still use affirmations.  All day.  Every day.  Because I am human and sometimes I forget that I am worthy just the way I am. 

And so are you.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


Do you need help cultivating worthiness?  Studies show that daily affirmations can help reduce stress, boost well-being and increase confidence.  Click the Daily Affirmations button below and get Life By Design Daily Affirmations in your inbox.  Designed with care to remind you of who you are, what you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first one is the most important.)  Enjoy!


Photo Credit:  Aki Tolentino on Unsplash

 

True Power

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True Power is living from possibility.

True Power is loving yourself warts and all.

True Power is shifting into greatness.

True Power is knowing your absolute yes and your absolute no.

True Power is celebrating yourself.

True Power is creating new patterns.

True Power is self-awareness.

True Power is taking inspired action.

True Power is living from gratitude.

True Power is knowing and honoring who you are.

True Power is filling your cup first.

True Power is listening to and acting on your inner wisdom.

True Power is allowing abundance.

True Power is making time for laughter.

True Power is committing to yourself.

True Power is recommitting to yourself.

True Power is recommitting to yourself again.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy

What does true power mean to you?


Do you need help realizing your true power?  Studies show that daily affirmations can help reduce stress, boost well-being and increase confidence.  Click the Daily Affirmations button below and get Life By Design Daily Affirmations in your inbox.  Designed with care to remind you of who you are, what you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first one is the most important.)  Enjoy!


Photo Credit:  Austin Schmid on Unsplash

Choose Joy

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We create the life we lead. Whether we mean to or not. Oftentimes, we create it exactly the way we did yesterday, the year before and the year before that. Like Ground Hog Day. Over and over and over again. The people and circumstances may change slightly but we still have the same life.

  • the same health
  • the same relationships
  • the same job

We may give our circumstances a face-lift.  But in essence, we stick with the pattern that has been ingrained in us, the pattern we have ingrained in ourselves. Our minds love patterns.

We create the life we lead by the thoughts we think. Simple but true. If we ever wonder where our focus is, we need no more than to look at our lives.

Circumstances are circumstances. They are simply what happens around us.

  • Thoughts.  About circumstances.  Create feelings.

  • Feelings generate actions.

  • Actions produce results.

  • Results are the lives we lead.

Good News!!! We have complete control over our thoughts. In fact, our thoughts are the only thing in life that we have complete control over.

It starts with noticing what you’re noticing.  A feeling is often the first indication of a thought you are having. 


Try this…

  • Identify a familiar feeling you have had (Ex. Anger, frustration, overwhelm)

  • Trace the feeling back to a thought.

  • Choose an expansive thought.  Choose to become interested in gratitude, joy or beauty.

  • Notice how the new thought feels.

  • Wash.Rinse.Repeat.   


Try this with all of your undesirable thoughts. It takes practice but it will change your life. One thought at a time.

You need to learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate. If you want to control things in your life so bad, work on the mind. That's the only thing you should be trying to control.
~ Elizabeth Gilbert

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


Do you need help imagining what you would love?  Studies show that daily affirmations can help reduce stress, boost well-being and increase confidence.  Click the START HERE button below and get Life By Design Daily Affirmations in your inbox.  Designed with care to remind you of who you are, what you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first one is the most important.)  Enjoy!


Photo by Brigitte Tohm on Unsplash


Ruby Slippers

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For most of my adult life I searched for inner peace outside of myself. I looked for it in relationships, in education, in jobs, in books, in workshops, in exercise, in food, in alcohol, in this, in that, in the other thing.  Did I mention baked goods…???

I searched and searched for the magic bullet, the ruby slipper that would take me home to my essence, my joy, the happy life I so desired.

Although I often felt like I was on the verge of greatness, my paradigms (those pesky buggers) always managed to keep me stuck in my story, in my circumstances, in my regrets from the past and my fears about the future.

There was a shadow or two residing deep inside of me that held me back. That kept me from experiencing the peace, joy and happiness I sought and now know I deserve.  There is an odd comfort in staying in the darkness.  We know it, it is familiar, we can relate to others because of it.  And, honestly, it may be an epic story.

My first born, my greatest teacher, taught me a lesson about staying in my story. That staying in my story kept my loved ones in the story as well.  He taught me that I really did have the Ruby Slippers I so desired.  All I needed to do was put them on.  Trust in the magic and I’d be on my way back home.

I am not perfect.  I am human. I am perfectly imperfect.  I sometimes lose track of my Ruby Slippers.  Think that I’ve lost them.  But now I know that they are always there for me.  They always fit. 

You have a pair too! Try them on.  They may feel a bit awkward at first, but I promise you will find your own way of wearing them.

Fun. Flow. Freedom.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


* Do you need help finding your ruby slippers?  Start here with this complimentary series of Life By Design Daily Affirmations. These affirmations are designed with care to remind you of who you are, all that you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first one is the most important.)  Enjoy!


Photo Credit:  © Sergey Kishan

Your Inner Wonder Woman

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Deep inside each woman lays an inner wonder woman. 

  • She may be active daily.
  • She may be lying dormant.
  • She may come out only on special occasions.

In some, it may be decades.  In some, she may never be seen.

Regardless, she is always there. 

  • She is strong.
  • She is patient.
  • She is bold.
  • She is smart.
  • She is kind.
  • She is courageous.
  • She knows what to do.

She is dependable as the rising sun.  Solid as a rock.

She waits in the wings.  Sending inner messages of love and power.  Waiting for an invitation to come forth.  It is up to you and I to set her free.

She is you.  She is me.  She is all of our sisters united as one.


To access your inner wonder woman, try this:

Stand tall with feet hip distance apart

Roll your shoulders back

Place your hands on your hips and say “I’ve got this!”

*Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.


Fun. Flow. Freedom.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


*Do you need help finding your inner wonder woman?  Start here with this complimentary series of Life By Design Daily Affirmations. These affirmations are designed with care to remind you of who you are, what you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first one is the most important.)  Enjoy!


Photo Credit:  Pietra Schwarzler on Unsplash

Peaceful Easy Feeling

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Did you ever feel like you were having “one of those days”?  You wake up late…spill coffee on your white blouse…get stuck in traffic after leaving the house late…

It’s tempting to think that these things are happening TO you.  That you are powerless and destined for more of the same.

This couldn’t be further from the truth.  You are incredibly powerful.  Just look at your life.  You created it all.

Your energy at any given time determines the way you see the world and the way the world sees you.  And, if you are looking at the world from a place of victim-hood, you will see and experience more victim-hood.

Try this trio next time you begin to notice these dis-empowering TO me thoughts.

  1. Pause – this will give you a chance to respond instead of react.
  2. Breathe – find some stillness; take 3 breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth; let the exhale be longer than the inhale
  3. Mantra – choose a mantra that expresses how you would like to BE in the situation. Repeat the mantra to yourself.  Ex. Inhale ~ I AM calm, Exhale ~ I AM peaceful

I have found that changing my energy before I transition into any situation really helps.

  • In the morning before greeting my family

  • In the car before picking up my kids from school

  • On my doorstep before walking in my front door

Fun. Flow. Freedom

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


*Do you need help changing your energy?  Start here with this complimentary series of Life By Design Daily Affirmations.  These affirmations are designed with care to remind you of who you are, all that you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first affirmation is the most important.)  Enjoy!


Photo Credit:  © Evgenyatamanenko Dreamstime

Three Little Words

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A few years ago I began choosing a new Word of the Year every January.  Last year was my year of YES!  I took it to heart.  I said Yes! to my health, Yes! to my family, Yes! to my dreams, Yes! to abundance, and Yes! to No!  It was an amazing year of YES! indeed.

This year I have chosen three little words.  They go together like peanut butter and jelly.  Like three peas in a pod.  They felt expansive and right and perfect for 2017.

FUN FLOW FREEDOM

As I revisit my vision and goals halfway through the year and glance up at my 2017 Vision Board, I see Fun, Flow and Freedom throughout the entire board.  I’ve begun placing red heart stickers on the images that have come to be or that are in process like trips that are planned or purchases that are being made.

I see images of FUN with family ~ jumping on our trampoline, camping and riding bikes.  I see FUN with friends ~ dancing, floating and connecting.  I see FUN with clients ~  teaching, speaking and sharing.

I see images of FLOW and FREEDOM my health and well-being, in my relationships, in my time, in my money and in my work.

What is your word of the year?  Are you living it?  Without judgement, assess the first 6 months of 2017.  What could you do more of?  What could you do less of?

We’re halfway through the year and the possibilities are endless.  What could you do to take the first step in really living your word of the year?

Fun. Flow. Freedom.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


*Do you need finding your word of the year?  Start here with this complimentary series of Life By Design Daily Affirmations.  These affirmations are designed with care to remind you of who you are, all that you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first affirmation is the most important.)  Enjoy!

Doing Scary Stuff

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I’ve been doing lots of scary stuff lately.

Moving WAY out of my comfort zone.

Taking bold, brave steps in the direction of what I truly desire.

Does it scare me?  Yes!

Do I have to force myself sometimes?  Yes!

Do I succumb to the 3 Ds of dissuasion, distraction and delay?  Yes!  Yes!  Yes!

It is not easy.  Doing this scary stuff.

There is this gravitational pull to my old ways.

My “safe” ways.  The ways that I’ve known.

But I know that the good stuff lies just past the scary stuff.

So I continue to take the steps.

Sometimes they are big and bold and sometimes they are little baby steps.

And with every step I take, I know deep in my heart, that it is all a part of my becoming.

Fun. Flow. Freedom.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


*Do you need stepping out of your comfort zone?  Start here with this complimentary series of Life By Design Daily Affirmations.  These affirmations are designed with care to remind you of who you are, all that you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first affirmation is the most important.)  Enjoy!