The Importance of Self-Worth in Motherhood


After a talk I gave recently, one of the participants asked me what I did to begin changing my life.  On my ride home that night I realized that the answer I gave was why – my son showed me that he needed me to be an empowered role model. 

After some thought it became clear to me that I hadn’t really answered the question.  The very first place I started was by increasing my sense of worthiness.  Hands down.  I HAD to believe I was worthy of a better life or I would never have been able to make the changes necessary.

I would not have been able to let go of what no longer served me.  I never would have been able to put myself and my self-care first.  I never would have been able to establish boundaries and teach the people I love how to treat me.

It was uncomfortable. It was painful.  It upset my loved ones who had been so used to me being a certain way.  Saying yes when I really wanted to say no.  Putting others first.  Holding my tongue when I had something important to say.  Being what others wanted me to be instead of being authentically me.

And, eventually the dust settled.  I became more comfortable in my new way of being.  My loved ones became more comfortable with my new way being. 

And, once I changed my inner world, my outer world began to change.  I noticed books on my husband’s book shelf that I never thought he’d choose.  My mother, who I had been badgering to make a move, decided to move to town on her own.  My dad and I began a new relationship with each other and also moved to town.  My tribe began to show up. 

The most beautiful part of the whole experience was that my children now get to bear witness to a mom who truly believes in herself. A mom who loved her kids so much that she was willing to be uncomfortable to learn how to love herself.

Shine Brightly,


P.S. Do you need help believing you are worthy? I’ve created a FREE series of simple, yet powerful Daily Affirmations for Busy Moms to support you in believing in your worth one affirmation at a time. Click the button below to subscribe.


FREE. Simple. Powerful.

Photo by: Allie Smith on Unsplash

Mind Management for the Busy Mom


Being a mom is serious business.  Really, it is like running a business.  I don’t know about you but much of my personal time (and sometimes my work time) is devoted to logistics.  Kind of like doing a giant jigsaw puzzle.  Making all the pieces fit.  Who is going where, when, doing what and who will be the driver for instance.  And, guess what, I am the manager of all of it.

I found that in order to be a good “manager” of my household, I needed to be a good “manager” of my mind.  There are all kinds of management systems out there.  You name it and you can find a management system for it.  It makes sense to me that if we manage our minds first, we will be much more successful at managing diet, exercise, time, productivity, behavior and on and on and on.

Ultimately, it is our thoughts that create our reality.  Mind management is the key to well-being and happiness.  Don’t believe me?  Check out the research that has been done at Baylor, Princeton or Stanford to name a few. 

Thoughts have power.  And so do words.  It is important to pay attention to your thoughts and the words you put out into the world. 

Mind management begins with replacing common thoughts with empowered ones.  Common thoughts are simply the patterns of thinking that have been ingrained in you.  You know the ones I’m talking about.  The ones that remind you of all the ways you suck.  

It takes practice but I am living proof that you can replace “I suck” thoughts with “I rock” thoughts. Make a vow to choose empowered thinking and empowered language every day.  Catch yourself and tell yourself a new story. If you fumble, use the mantra “Every day and in every way I am getting better and better”. With time, you will start believing it.

And, ultimately, thrive in motherhood.

Do you have a favorite empowering phrase?  Please share it in the comments below.  Yours may just be the phrase that changes another mom’s life.

Shine Brightly,


P.S. Do you need help managing your mind? I’ve created an easy cheat sheet to help you make the shift from common thinking to thoughts of empowerment.  Download it for free using the button below. 


Free Download

Mind Management for the Busy Mom Cheat Sheet

Photo Credit: Hans Peter Gauster on Unsplash

Complete Control


Did you know that we have close to 60,000 thoughts a day?  Some of them are just bizarre, most of them are the same thoughts we had yesterday and most of those are negative.  They are the very thoughts that create our human suffering.  The deadly trio...fear, doubt and worry. 

Negative thoughts are patterns really.  Habits.  The mind loves patterns.  They run deep grooves in our minds.  These patterns eventually become limiting beliefs that can rob us of our joy if we let them. 

Thoughts create Feelings.

Feelings create Actions.

Actions create Results.  What our life is like.

Good news!  We have complete control over our thoughts.  In fact, it is the only thing we do have complete control over.  It takes constant practice.  Like working a muscle.  But it is as simple as replacing the negative thoughts with positive, empowering ones.  Simple but not easy, that is.

We become good at what we practice.  We've had so much practice in thinking limiting thoughts that we have gotten really good at them.  Imagine what our lives would be like if we took up empowered thinking.  Practicing every day.  Exercising the empowered thinking muscle.

It helps to have a list of replacement thoughts.  A list of thoughts we can turn to when the negative ones creep in, as they are prone to do.

Try this:

1.      WRITE:  Fold a piece of paper in half the long way.  On the left make a list of 10 negative thoughts and on the right make a list of positive, empowering thoughts that you can use to replace the negative ones.

2.      PAUSE: When you notice a negative thought, pause and re-frame  it.  Insert one of the new, empowering thoughts.

3.      PRACTICE, practice, practice

It’s all about noticing what you’re noticing.  Noticing that you are having a negative thought is progress, my friends!  It’s the first step in changing a habit.  So celebrate it and keep noticing.

Shine Brightly,


Do you need help practicing empowered thinking?  Studies show that daily affirmations can help reduce stress, boost well-being and increase confidence.  Click the START HERE button below and get Life By Design Daily Affirmations in your inbox.  Designed with care to remind you of who you are, what you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first one is the most important.)  Enjoy!

Photo by Jen Loong on Unsplash

Little Eyes Ears and Hearts


Have you ever watched your children play or listened to their conversations?  Chances are you noticed a lot of yourself in those precious moments.  Sometimes your heart swells with pride and other times, you are not so pleased with what you are unintentionally sharing with them (mommy guilt - I'm right there with you).

You have an opportunity here, a gift. A gift that will last a lifetime. You can choose to model your best self for your children. You can choose to model the hero’s journey over the victim’s journey, the high road over the low road. You can choose to live an authentic, empowered, harmonious life.  You have choice.  Always.

Your children are learning how to navigate through life by watching you. They are carefully tuned into you.  Their teacher.  For direction. It is up to you to model what you would most like them to see.

It takes a constant shifting.  All day.  Every day.  Shifting into being the best version of yourself.  Knowing that every moment is a brand new baby moment.  Another chance to make a different choice.  It's simple really - this shifting.  It's just not easy.

It won’t be perfect.  Sometimes it will be frustrating as hell.  You may not see it until they are in their thirties but by reaching deep within yourself you are giving your children an immeasurable gift and the beginnings of a new legacy.

Little eyes, ears and hearts are always watching.  Let them see what you really want them to see.

Try this next time you feel a reaction coming on:

  • Notice what you're noticing.  Awareness is the first step in changing a pattern.
  • Pause and take a breath (or two or five).  Pause to regroup and breathe to calm yourself.
  • Respond the way you would like your children to experience you.

Fun. Flow. Freedom.

Shine Brightly,


*Do you need help responding instead of reacting?  Start here with this complimentary series of Life By Design Daily Affirmations.  These affirmations are designed with care to remind you of who you are, all that you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first affirmation is the most important.)  Enjoy!

Photo by Patricia Prudente on Unsplash

Breaking Patterns

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It’s here!  A brand new baby year.  A new beginning.

The gyms are packed.  Resolutions are in place.  Change is in the air.

Promises. Promises. Promises.  To make positive changes for ourselves and our families.

And, very soon, the momentum fades.  Our minds drift back to our old ways.  Our old patterns of being.

Changing habits is serious business.  It takes much more than a resolution to break through the patterns that have run deep grooves in our minds.

The good news is that it is absolutely possible to break those pesky patterns.  One of the tools I use is called a trigger.  A trigger is basically a reminder to change a thought or perform an action. 

Try one of these or create your own:

  • Door frame triggers can be set up to remind you to take a pause before entering a bedroom, your home, your office or for making any other transition.  In an effort to cultivate more patience with my daughter I have created a door frame trigger for myself.  Before I walk through the door frame of my daughter’s room I silently say to myself “I Am kind, caring and patient”.  This sets the tone for what I may find on the other side of the door.  Re-framing the old reactive pattern of “omg, I can’t see the floor” or “it’s been 30 minutes and she’s still not ready for school” to I AM kind, caring and patient. I AM says that this is happening now.  Not I want to or I plan to or I should.  I AM means that I am presently kind, caring and patient.
  • An audio trigger is an easy way to create change.  I have an audio notification on my phone that reminds me 3 times a day to breathe.  To stop what I am doing and take 3 deep, belly breaths.  I’ve been doing yoga for over 25 years, teach breath work each week and still find that I forget to breathe.  
  • A visual trigger is a lovely way to create a new habit.  I have a talisman that I made at a workshop several years ago made of crystals, a heart bead and a bead that says love on it strung on fishing wire.  It hangs on my bathroom mirror and reminds me to look myself in the eyes and say “I love you”.  It is a constant reminder to be kind to myself by changing my self-talk.

What kind of trigger will you incorporate into your life?  Please share with a comment.

Fun. Flow. Freedom.

Shine Brightly,


*Do you need help changing patterns?  Start Here with this complimentary series of Life by Design Daily Affirmations.  Designed with care to remind you of who you are, what you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first one is the most important.)  Enjoy!



We all have it.

It happens every day.

It is relentless.

It is there like old faithful.

It is the reason so many of us stay stuck.

Stuck in dead end jobs.

Stuck in relationships that are going nowhere.

Stuck in a life that feels constrictive and sometimes even oppressive.

It comes from that part of us we call the ego.

It is very alluring, the ego.

It is the great seducer.

“I’m going to keep you safe,” it says.  “I’m going to make sure you don’t get hurt again."

Resistance can show up in many ways.

It can show up as procrastination.  “After I lose this weight.  That’s when I’ll start.”

It can show up as distraction.  “I don’t have time for that right now.  I’m so busy.”

It can also show up as red alert.  Fight or flight.  Paralysis.  All systems down.

You can be sure that the moment you make a declaration for change.

The moment you begin to stretch your wings.

The instant you even consider stepping out of your comfort zone, your ego will put up a front.

It’s called resistance.

What is it for you?  How is your resistance showing up?

Does it happen in the morning as you turn your alarm off instead of starting your new morning routine?

Is it midday when you reach for a sugary snack instead of the apple you packed?

How about when you sit down to meditate?  I’d bet you never feel resistance then…

You are not alone, my friend.  Resistance is that glorious human part of us that is

perfectly imperfect.

Next time you are wondering why you aren't doing what you intend to do, try this:

  1. Notice what you’re noticing.  This is the first step in making any change.
  2. Sit with it. Get curious about it.  With kindness and compassion.  Why am I resisting?
  3. Just do it. Take action.  Override the resistance.  Create new patterns.  Freedom resides in every moment.

Fun. Flow. Freedom.

Shine Brightly,


*Do you need help changing patterns?  Start here with this complimentary series of Life By Design Daily Affirmations.  These affirmations are designed with care to remind you of who you are, all that you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first affirmation is the most important.)  Enjoy!