Your Family is Unique

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You and your family are as unique as your thumbprint.  The way you parent and raise your children is unique to you.  In this day and age of social media it is tempting to get caught up in the comparison game, especially when you are a mom.  

 It is easy to judge yourself based on what others are doing or not doing.  It is easy to want to follow the latest fad.  It is easy to want to fit in.

I believe this begins in early childhood.  We are taught that conformity is the acceptable way.  Do it the way everyone else does it and you’ll be ok.  If you deviate from the norm there must be something wrong with you. 

Sadly, many of us have no clue who we really are.  We have adopted the core values and passion of others through childhood, society and life experiences. 

Or, we are playing the toxic game of Mom Comparison.  It is the biggest mistake we can make as moms.  Not only does it often lead us down the wrong path but we are teaching our children how to live a life of comparison as well.

No wonder there is so much pain in the world.  No wonder I felt so much pain throughout my childhood and into adulthood.  I felt like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole.  I knew I wasn’t like most other people.  I knew that I was trying to force myself into conformity.  But, I didn’t know what to do about it other than live very uncomfortably for most of my life. 

During my “renewal”, I learned to use the way I am feeling as a compass.  I learned that the way I am feeling is a key indicator of whether I am being true to who I really am.  I learned to lean in and really pay attention to what is right for me and my family. 

There is absolutely no comparison between your unique self and the unique self of another. Brene Brown says this brilliantly in this quote. “If it doesn’t fit it isn’t you.”

BE you!

Shine Brightly,

Tracy

P.S. Do you need help letting go of mom comparison? I’ve created a FREE series of Life by Design Daily Affirmations to support you in being true to you one affirmation at a time. Click the button below to get started.

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A Whisper and a Hummingbird Feeder

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I think it was Gandhi who said that the voice for truth speaks to every person on the planet every single day.  It is as loud as your willingness to listen.  He’s talking about the still, small voice of truth inside each one of us.  An inner voice, a gut instinct, a whisper.  It is your very own intuition. You may call it your mom gut. 

It’s your life speaking to you.  It is your inner wisdom and it is connected to all that is.  It is the inner voice that nudged you to read this blog post.  I believe that it is no accident that we are here together.  You listened.  I listened.  And, here we are. 

Think back on a time when you were thinking about a song and you hear it on Pandora.  You think about a friend and you run into them in the grocery store. 

My mom used to do this all the time.  I would pick up the phone and she would be calling me or vice versa. 

A while back I bought a friend a hummingbird feeder with hooks and all for her birthday.  I listened to an inner nudge, a whisper, and I knew I had found the perfect gift. She laughed when I gave it to her because that morning she had written buy and install hummingbird feeder on her to do list.  She showed it to me and checked it off her list.

It’s not a coincidence.  It’s a connection.  It’s intuition.  It’s being on the same wave length.  The same vibration.  We were thinking of each other at the same time.  Listening to our still, small voices and acting upon what we were hearing. 

Pay attention. Listen to the whispers. Follow your yellow brick road.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy

P.S. Do you need help listening to the whispers? I’ve created a FREE series of Life by Design Daily Affirmations to support you in feeling better one affirmation at a time. Click the button below to get started.

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Opening the Door to Possibility

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What if you had a magic wand and all of your dreams came true…today?  Would you be ready?  

The ideal relationship

The ideal job opportunity

The ideal home

What if they were already here?  Just waiting for you. Would you be ready to open the door and let them in?

Many of us, when we even dare to dream, forget this very important piece.  In order to get what we want in life, we have to make the space for it.  We have to make it welcome in our lives.

A friend’s sister won the lottery many years ago.  Overnight, she became a millionaire.  Within a few short years she lost it all and ended up in a worse financial situation than she was before she won.  She wasn’t ready. 

Dreaming the ideal home doesn’t get you the keys.  It requires action.

What would you love?

What steps need to be taken?

What beliefs will you need to adopt to BEcome the woman living in the ideal home?

Get ready.  Open the door to possibility. 

Shine Brightly,

Tracy

P.S. Do you need help creating new beliefs that align with your dreams? I’ve created a FREE series of Life by Design Daily Affirmations to support you in creating a new belief system one affirmation at a time. Click the button below to get started.

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How Are You Feeling?

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I spent most of my life wanting to feel good. Because…I didn’t. I felt awful.

About my circumstances.

About my life.

About myself.

I had little to no self awareness. I didn’t know that I had the power within me to change the way I was feeling.

And then I had kids. Wow! Having kids was like holding a magnifying glass over all that was “wrong” with my life. It was painful but it was the kick in the butt I needed to make some significant changes.

My kids were depending on me to dig in deep and BEcome the mom they deserved.

In the process I learned how to notice what I was noticing.

THE key to feeling good.

I learned how to check in and ask myself: How am I feeling? Am I feeling contraction or am I feeling expansion. 

A contractive feeling is the way fear, anger, frustration or the like feels.  For me, a contractive feeling almost feels like I want to protect myself.  Shoulders come in, I may cross my arms in a protective way.

An expansive feeling is the way joy, abundance or gratitude feels. For me, my heart feels open.  I feel expansion in my heart space.

If I am feeling expansive then I bask in the goodness.

If I am feeling contractive I ask myself this question: What thought am I having that is giving me this feeling? 

Maybe I am feeling the contraction of overwhelm and the thought I am having is “I have so much to do and so little time.” 

This is a great opportunity to change the thought.  To shift the thought from contraction to expansion.  The easiest way to shift from contraction to expansion is gratitude. 

Gratitude is the back door to abundance. 

Simply replace the contractive thought with something you are grateful for.  And, feel into it.  Feel the gratitude throughout your entire body.

You may even stand up taller and roll your shoulders up, back and down again.  Maybe even get into a power pose like Wonder Woman with your hands on your hips.  Take a deep, grateful breath.  Ahhh! 

How are you feeling?

Shine Brightly,

Tracy

P.S. Do you need help feeling better? I’ve created a FREE series of Life by Design Daily Affirmations to support you in feeling better one affirmation at a time. Click the button below to get started.

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Teach Your Kids How to Live a Great Life

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We live in a spiral Universe and in this Universe there is an ever upward spiral of becoming.  It is called life.  Life itself is seeking a fuller, freer, more expansive expression through all living beings.  Just look outside in the spring time.  The grass, the trees, the flowers, the birds.  Life is continually seeking more life.  A blade of grass will press through cement seeking the light. That same energy is in you.

You will hear this through your longings and discontent.  The still, small voice deep inside of you sends you messages of the need for growth.  Not to worry.  Growth is a natural part of life.  It absolutely does not mean that you are a negative person because you want more.  Life wants more life.  It wants more through you. 

You don’t have to have a lot of pain in your life to want things to be better.  In fact, good is the enemy of great.  Life wants you to have a great life.  And, the great news is, you can show your kids how to have a great life too!

Shine Brightly,

Tracy

P.S. Do you need help living a great life? I’ve created a FREE series of Life by Design Daily Affirmations to support you in believing in yourself one affirmation at a time. Click the button below to get started.

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The Gift of BEing an Empowered Mom

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You are worthy of every good thing life has to offer and it is essential that you believe it in order to BEcome the woman you are envisioning. 

You have been chosen to be in this body at this moment in history and you don't have to be or do or acquire anything to be more deserving than you are right now.  You are as unique as your thumbprint and there has never been and never will be anyone exactly like you. 

The world is waiting for you to shine your light with your unique combination of values, passions, gifts, skills, talents, characteristics and experience.

You may be asking yourself.  Well, why should I take the time to generate self-worth?  It sounds like a whole lot of work. 

Here is why. 

The greatest gift you can give your children and the world is to be an example of a powerful woman.  Not power over something or someone but personal power.  Recognizing and embracing the power within you. 

To create a new legacy of modeling self-love and self-acceptance for your children and everyone you encounter. 

Loving others (our children especially) more than ourselves is toxic and we don’t want to pass that along.  The world needs more examples of people who love themselves.  You are here to be that example. 

Remember this: 

You have a history but you are not your history. 

You have a story but you are not your story. 

You have a body but you are not your body. 

You are much much more.

And, if you need to borrow my belief in you for now, please feel free.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy

P.S. Do you need help believing in yourself? I’ve created a FREE series of Life by Design Daily Affirmations to support you in believing in yourself one affirmation at a time. Click the button below to get started.

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Life by Design Daily Affirmations


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Patterns in Motherhood

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Have you ever seen the movie Groundhog Day? The main character, played by Bill Murray, relives the same day over and over and over again. Each day is exactly like the day before. Many of us do the same thing in our own lives. 

We often unknowingly create patterns in our lives and in our families.  Patterns of thinking, patterns of behavior and patterns of how we relate to each other and our surroundings.  The mind loves patterns because patterns are easy.  True thinking is work for the mind so it tends to refer to the default setting of the patterns that are already in place.

We’ve practiced them.  We’ve perfected them.  They have become comfortable in an uncomfortable way if that makes sense.  I have a friend who told me flat out that even though her life was painful, she liked the comfort of the darkness because it was familiar.  She knew what to expect.  She is not alone.  Many, if not most of us choose to stay with what we know. 

The Groundhog Day Effect, as I like to call it, can also be seen on a broader scale.  Whether we mean to or not, we often create the same life over and over again even though we are trying to make change.  We may give our circumstances a “facelift”, a new house, a new job, a new relationship, but in essence, we stick with the pattern that has been ingrained in us and create the same life in a different place.  Wherever you go, there you are.

I had a woman come to a vision board workshop once who said that she looked through her journals over the past 10 years and realized that she had been living the exact same life for 10 years.  It was a sobering realization for her.

The good news is that we have complete control over our thoughts.  In fact, it is the only thing we do have complete control over.  It takes constant practice.  Like working a muscle.  But it is as simple as replacing old, dis-empowering thoughts with new, empowering ones.  Simple but not easy, that is.

It helps to have a list of replacement thoughts.  A list of thoughts we can turn to when the old, dis-empowering ones creep in, as they are prone to do.

Try this:

  • WRITE:  Fold a piece of paper in half the long way.  On the left side make a list of 10 dis-empowering thoughts that you consistently have and on the right make a list of positive, empowering, replacement thoughts

  • PAUSE: When you notice a negative thought, pause, take a breath and re-frame it.  Insert one of the new, empowering thoughts instead.

  • PRACTICE, practice, practice

It’s all about noticing what you’re noticing.  Noticing that you are having a negative thought is progress, my friends!  It’s the first step in changing a habit.  So celebrate it and keep noticing.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy

P.S. Do you need help changing old, dis-empowering thoughts? I’ve created a FREE Daily Affirmation E-course to support you in changing your thoughts one affirmation at a time. Click the button below to get started.

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Motherhood and the Lost Art of Having Fun

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Have you ever felt like you have forgotten how to have fun? That you used to laugh, play and feel free?  Sometimes we get so caught up in our world as parents that we forget that we used to thrive in nonsense.  At least I did…  In fact, the thing that most attracted me to my husband was his uncanny ability to have fun in just about any situation.

So, instead of taking the spectator stance, as I so often see parents taking, my husband and I do our very best to allow our children to witness us having child-like fun as often as possible. 

And, yes, that often includes dancing, roller skating and bouncing with the kids at Defy Gravity.

We never miss an opportunity to bounce!  For $14 an hour we jump, laugh AND our kids get to see us as people rather than in our usual roles as parents.

Now, I am a bit more conservative on the trampoline than my husband is.  He enjoys flips into the cheese pit and swinging from the big swing but I have my own level of fun.

Yes, I play it safe despite my kids’ best efforts to get me to bounce off the wall.

Yes, I am breathless by the time I bounce off the mat.

Yes, there are many times when I am the only mom jumping.

And, Yes, sometimes I even pee a little.

But, I have a great time and most importantly, my kids see me having high energy fun. They experience me not as Mommy but as Tracy.  I must say, I am quite the pro jumper now and am seriously considering a gig with Cirque de Soleil…

Your kids are learning how to navigate life by watching you with their little eyes, ears and hearts.  I invite you to incorporate some high energy fun into your life this week and share your experience with a comment below.

“Look at me! Look at me! Look at me NOW! It is fun to have fun. But you have to know how.” - Dr. Seuss

Shine Brightly,

Tracy

P.S. Do you need help incorporating fun into your life? I’ve created a FREE Daily Affirmation E-course to support you in allowing yourself all the goodness life has to offer. Click the button below to get started.

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How to Teach Your Kids Self-Love

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This may be a stretch for you and I know you have heard it before, but you must fill your cup first. This is the ultimate expression of self-love. And, this is how your kids learn self-love. They learn how to navigate life by watching you.

The woman you are BEcoming takes good care of herself. She honors her body, mind and soul. She
knows that her body, mind and soul are all connected. Neglect in one area affects the others. Take
good care of them all.

Start by becoming very attuned to the needs of your body, mind and soul and honor what you learn. You will need to cultivate self-love to properly respond.

And commit to a regular time of day for daily cup filling. Morning is really the best time but if it is not for you, choose a time that is.

  • Your body is a precious gift. It is yours. It was meant for you. Love it warts and all. We often take better care of our cars than we do our bodies. Send your body loving messages with the foods, activities and the care you give it. What does that look like for you?

  • Your mind. How are you treating your mind? Are you careless with your thoughts? Or do you stand guard at the portal of your mind? Feed your mind love, positivity and encouragement. Begin a daily affirmation practice. I AM the woman who…

  • And, your soul. How do you feed your soul? Does it need quiet reflection in meditation, connection with others, opportunities for creativity and fun? Spirit loves fun, you know. What does your soul need?

Take some time each day to contemplate the needs of your mind, body and soul and act upon what you learn. And as you learn to love yourself, you are teaching your kids to love themselves as well.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy

P.S. Do you need help loving yourself? I’ve created a FREE Daily Affirmation E-course to support you in increasing your deserving. Click the button below to get started.


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Gratitude and Why it Matters in Motherhood

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Gratitude is a powerful spiritual practice. If you don’t already have a gratitude practice, start one now. It will change your life. And, ultimately, change the lives of your children.

Gratitude is not only a beautiful practice for focusing on what is right in your world, but it also connects you with the source of abundance and helps you reconnect with the flow of life.

I like to call gratitude the back door to abundance.

You see, when you generate the expansive energy of gratitude, you are connected to source. Gratitude is at the same energetic frequency as abundance.

When you are dissatisfied, you generate contracted energy and disconnect from source. You create a kink in the hose so to say. Contraction is at the same energetic frequency as lack.

This is why it is so important for us, as mothers, to teach our children how to shift their thoughts from dissatisfaction to gratitude. I learned the hard way that I was teaching my children how to live a contracted life. I learned that they were learning how to navigate life by watching me. It was a painful lesson.

Below are a few practices I have incorporated into our family life. I am not perfect but I really do try to walk the walk with my kids.

  • I let them catch me writing in my gratitude journal

  • I encourage them to write in their own

  • I shift my thoughts from dissatisfaction to gratitude verbally so they can hear my thought process

And, years ago when my children were little, I started a bedtime ritual that I call the Grateful Prayer. Each night, I invite them to come up with 3 things they are grateful for. Sometimes (actually often), their gratitude consists of mommy and daddy but I always encourage them to reach a little deeper. To think about their day and remember all the goodness.

I invite you to incorporate one or a few of these practices into your family life and share your experience with a comment below.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy

P.S. Do you need help shifting your thoughts from dissatisfaction to gratitude? I’ve created a FREE Daily Affirmation E-course to support you in seeing all the goodness life has to offer. Click the button below to get started.


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Claim it Until You BEcome it

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You are worthy of every good thing life has to offer and you must believe it in order to BEcome the woman you are envisioning. You don't have to be, or do or acquire anything to be more deserving than you are right now.

Years ago, before I turned my life upside down, I didn’t believe this to be true. I didn’t believe that I was worthy of all the goodness life has to offer. I believed the goodness was there for others, but not for me.

And then, after many years of soul searching, I discovered the late great Louise Hay and the power of affirmations. I learned that I didn’t have to prove anything to anyone to be more worthy. I simply had to believe it. Simple, yet not easy…

Affirmations are a powerful way to write your new story. To claim it. I AM that I AM.

It’s not fake it until you make it, its Claim It Until You BEcome It.

Affirmations are more than just words though. You have to get in touch with the feeling of each
affirmation as you say it.

How does it feel to be you when you say I AM worthy, for instance? Feel the expansion of that powerful statement. Your higher self hears the feeling of the affirmation. Not the words alone.

Believing in yourself is the first step in BEcoming the very best version of you. It takes practice and a will to change your perspective of yourself. And, I am living proof that you can.

BTW - Your children will thank you one day. Not necessarily with words but by the people they BEcome.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy

P.S. Do you need help believing in yourself? I’ve created a FREE Daily Affirmation E-course to support you in Claiming It Until You BEcome It. Click the button below to get started.


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Freedom to Choose

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Our forefathers had a vision. 

They decided on the vision. 

They believed in the vision. 

They took action on the vision.

They built a support structure to protect the vision.

And, this week, we will be celebrating the 243rd birthday of the declaration of that vision.  The Declaration of Independence.  A declaration of freedom.

As we celebrate with fireworks, parades and festive gatherings, I’d like to invite you to celebrate yourself as well.

your life

your vision

your freedom

I invite you to draw up your own declaration.  Your own vision.


Try this:

Listen to your longings and discontent

Decide what you would love to be or do or have

Take action 


You have the freedom to free yourself.  To free yourself from the chains that hold you back from being all you are here to be.    

The time is now!  Declare it!

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


Do you need help drawing up your own vision?  Start here.  Studies show that daily affirmations can help reduce stress, boost well-being and increase confidence.  Click the Daily Affirmations button below and get Life By Design Daily Affirmations in your inbox.  Designed with care to remind you of who you are, what you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first one is the most important.)  Enjoy!


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