How to Teach Your Kids Self-Love

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This may be a stretch for you and I know you have heard it before, but you must fill your cup first. This is the ultimate expression of self-love. And, this is how your kids learn self-love. They learn how to navigate life by watching you.

The woman you are BEcoming takes good care of herself. She honors her body, mind and soul. She
knows that her body, mind and soul are all connected. Neglect in one area affects the others. Take
good care of them all.

Start by becoming very attuned to the needs of your body, mind and soul and honor what you learn. You will need to cultivate self-love to properly respond.

And commit to a regular time of day for daily cup filling. Morning is really the best time but if it is not for you, choose a time that is.

  • Your body is a precious gift. It is yours. It was meant for you. Love it warts and all. We often take better care of our cars than we do our bodies. Send your body loving messages with the foods, activities and the care you give it. What does that look like for you?

  • Your mind. How are you treating your mind? Are you careless with your thoughts? Or do you stand guard at the portal of your mind? Feed your mind love, positivity and encouragement. Begin a daily affirmation practice. I AM the woman who…

  • And, your soul. How do you feed your soul? Does it need quiet reflection in meditation, connection with others, opportunities for creativity and fun? Spirit loves fun, you know. What does your soul need?

Take some time each day to contemplate the needs of your mind, body and soul and act upon what you learn. And as you learn to love yourself, you are teaching your kids to love themselves as well.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy

P.S. Do you need help loving yourself? I’ve created a FREE Daily Affirmation E-course to support you in increasing your deserving. Click the button below to get started.


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FREE Daily Affirmation E-Course


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5 Must Do Daily Practices

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In the hustle and bustle of life as a mom it is imperative that we maintain consistent practices to help us stay sane throughout the day.  As painful as it feels sometimes, I start my day at 5:45 so that I have time to do these 5 practices daily.  It’s a way of filling my cup before tending to my family and my work.  They have all become integral parts of my life.

1. Walk ~ What are the benefits of walking you ask?  Let me count the ways...  Holistic health and wellness guru Dr Andrew Weil recommends walking as THE best exercise.  Not only does it do your body good but it also increases cognitive performance in the brain and reduces stress.  I choose a 30 minute morning nature walk as my daily go to exercise.

2. Yoga ~ 20 minutes of yoga each day will change your life.  I know this to be true.  After 25 years of yoga and years of experimenting with various healing modalities, I always return to the mat.  There is no better way that I know of to connect mind, body and soul.  And, yoga is a great stress reducer.

3. Meditate ~ Treat your mind as you would your body with the "mental hygiene" of meditation.  Contrary to popular belief, the practice of meditation is to bring your mind back to NOW whenever it wanders.  And, trust me, it will wander.  It is not about sitting with a blank mind for 30 minutes 3 times every day.  Start small with a 3 minute guided meditation and increase the time gradually.  Oh, did I mention that it reduces stress too?

4. Gratitude ~ After attending to my body and my mind, I begin each day by writing and connecting with 3 things I am grateful for.  Not only does gratitude feel good as I recall and focus on all the goodness in my life, but it also aligns me with the vibration of joy, happiness and abundance.  I like to call it the "back door to abundance".

5. Vision ~ Connecting with my vision daily is an absolute for me.  I read it, write it and "put it on" every day.  Living a vision driven life is THE most life giving way of living.  As I connect with my vision I BEcome the woman in it.  And so can you.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy

How do you begin your day?  Please share with a comment below.


Do you need help starting a daily routine?  Studies show that daily affirmations can help reduce stress, boost well-being and increase confidence.  Click the Daily Affirmations button below and get Life By Design Daily Affirmations in your inbox.  Designed with care to remind you of who you are, what you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first one is the most important.)  Enjoy!


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Cultivating Worthiness

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At the end of a talk I gave recently, one of the participants asked me what I did to begin changing my life.  On my ride home that night I realized that I never really answered the question.  I answered the why – my son showed me that he needed me to be an empowered role model.  Not the what. 

After giving it some thought it was clear to me that the very first place I started was by increasing my sense of worthiness.  Hands down.  I HAD to believe I was worthy of a better life or I would never have been able to make the changes necessary. 

  • I would not have been able to let go of what no longer served me. 
  • I would not have been able to put myself and my self-care first. 
  • I would not have been able to establish boundaries and teach others how to treat me. 

It was uncomfortable. It was painful.  It upset my loved ones who had been so used to me being a certain way. 

Saying yes when I really wanted to say no.  Putting everyone else first. 

Holding my tongue when I had something important to say.  Being what others wanted me to be instead of being authentically me. 

Eventually the dust settled.  I became more comfortable in my new way of being.  My loved ones became more comfortable with my new way being. 

Once I changed my inner world, my outer world began to change.  I noticed books on my husband’s book shelf that I never thought he’d choose.  My mother, who I had been badgering to make a move, decided to move to town.  My dad and I began a new relationship with each other.  My tribe began to show up. 

It all began with this daily affirmation:  I AM Worthy. 

I read this affirmation day and night.  Night and day.  Until I believed it.  Until I understood that my worthiness comes from inside and that I didn’t need anything to be more worthy than I already was.

I still use affirmations.  All day.  Every day.  Because I am human and sometimes I forget that I am worthy just the way I am. 

And so are you.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


Do you need help cultivating worthiness?  Studies show that daily affirmations can help reduce stress, boost well-being and increase confidence.  Click the Daily Affirmations button below and get Life By Design Daily Affirmations in your inbox.  Designed with care to remind you of who you are, what you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first one is the most important.)  Enjoy!


Photo Credit:  Aki Tolentino on Unsplash

 

Shining the Light on the Dark

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Life is interesting isn’t it?  The yin and yang of this human experience.

Light and dark

Good and bad

Possible and impossible

We are conditioned to believe that it has to be one way or another.  But, what if what we are telling ourselves is not true?

It was Henry Ford who once said “whether you think you can or you think you can’t you’re right.”

What if we could see the good in the bad?

Shine the light on the dark?

Create the possible out of the impossible?

As rigorous as life becomes at times, we can always count on the fact that the sun always rises.

What if we were to clear our limiting beliefs simply by changing our thoughts about any circumstance that comes our way?

Think about the power in that.  And, realize that you have that power within you.


Try this:

  • Fold a piece of paper in half lengthwise
  • Write an “impossible” situation in your life across the top
  • Write a list of the possible negative outcomes on the left side
  • Write a counter list of possible positive outcomes on the right side
  • When your mind turns to the negative, replace the thought with all that could go right

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


Do you need help shining the light on the dark?  Studies show that daily affirmations can help reduce stress, boost well-being and increase confidence.  Click the START HERE button below and get Life By Design Daily Affirmations in your inbox.  Designed with care to remind you of who you are, what you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first one is the most important.)  Enjoy!


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Creating Time

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Sometimes I feel as if I am in constant motion.  My body.  My mouth.  My mind.

Moving.

Moving.

Moving.

Waking my children (sometimes 5 times), breakfast, morning chores, moving everyone out the door for school, going to work, returning to school for pick up, activities, homework, dinner, bathing and bedtime.  And that doesn't include the unexpected.  At the end of the day, if I don’t take the time for self-care, I collapse in bed only to do the same thing again the next day.

I have found that the most important time in my day is the ME time I give myself.  Through a lot of trial and error I have found 3 key ways to create more time in the day.


Try this:

  1. Rise and Shine - Are you constantly searching for more hours in the day?  Good news!  You can find instant hours.  Any number you’d like.  In the wee hours before your family wakes.  Getting up before your family may sound like an impossible feat.  But, I promise, you can do this too.  And, once you experience the beauty of an early morning by yourself, you will wonder why it took you so long to begin.  Luxuriate in a morning ritual created just for you.
  2. Use Your Calendar - Schedule your big rocks, the most important activities, first.  You can then fill in the open spaces with other activities.  Self-care is a big rock.  It is more important than anything else on your schedule.  You cannot give from an empty vessel...  *Take 10 minutes at the end of the day to review your calendar and schedule anything that needs to be done so it doesn’t sit in your mind and keep you awake at night.
  3. Go to bed - As much as you would like to stay up and watch mindless tv some nights, make a commitment to yourself.  Get to bed in time to give yourself 7-8 hours of sleep.  Sleep is one of the best ways to fill your cup and a good night sleep will be incredibly helpful in getting up before the rest of the household does in the morning.  *Create a new evening ritual.  Before turning out the lights for the night, take the time to unwind, reflect on your day, read and/or write in a journal.

I bet you never knew you could Create Time!  What will you do with yours?  Please share with a comment below.

Fun. Flow. Freedom.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


*Do you need help creating time?  Start here with this complimentary series of Life By Design Daily Affirmations.  These affirmations are designed with care to remind you of who you are, all that you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first affirmation is the most important.)  Enjoy!

A Soft Place to Land

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What does your soul desire?  What does your soul need?  What fills your soul to the brim?

There are as many ways to feed a soul as there are souls to feed.  We have each come into this human form with our own lessons to learn.  Our own mountains to climb. 

Our soul print is as individual as our thumbprint.  We are at the same time connected as one on the spiritual level and unique on the human level. 

We each have our own purpose in this lifetime and it begins with creating a soft place to land.  For ourselves first and then for others.  We must fill our own cups to the brim so that we are able to give from the overflow.  

Most of us come at this with the belief that we must put the needs of others first.  I find this especially true of mothers.  There is this misconception that we must give all we've got to our families before tending to our own needs. 

I learned the hard way, after a herniated disc, chronic fatigue and a clear reflection from my then 3 year old, a highly sensitive old soul, of how poorly I was treating myself. 

As much as I don't love to get up early, I found that the best way to create a soft place for myself to land was to get up and out of bed. 

Early Morning.  Before my family wakes.  Is now my favorite time of day.

In the quiet stillness.  The dawn of a new day of life.

It’s my time.  To fill my cup.  To feed my mind, my body and my soul.

Try this to create a soft place for yourself to land:

  • Get Clear - Imagine:  Who would I love to BE for myself? Who would I love to BE for my family? Who would I love to BE in the world? (ex. I AM at my ideal weight. I AM present with my family. I AM a spreader of joy.)   

  • Create Stillness - Pause. Breathe. Ask. Listen.  - Ask yourself this question into the stillness and then listen.  What can I do with what I have to BEcome the woman I imagined above? (Ex. Get up early and walk.  Put my phone down and give my child my full attention.  Get out of the house, smile and share my light with everyone I encounter.)

  • Take Action - Incorporate one new idea into your life at a time.  When you have fully created the habit, incorporate another new idea into your life. 

Fun. Flow. Freedom.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


*Do you need help creating a soft place to land?  Start here with this complimentary series of Life By Design Daily Affirmations.  These affirmations are designed with care to remind you of who you are, all that you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first affirmation is the most important.)  Enjoy!


Photo Credit:  @carlijeen

Resistance

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We all have it.

It happens every day.

It is relentless.

It is there like old faithful.

It is the reason so many of us stay stuck.

Stuck in dead end jobs.

Stuck in relationships that are going nowhere.

Stuck in a life that feels constrictive and sometimes even oppressive.

It comes from that part of us we call the ego.

It is very alluring, the ego.

It is the great seducer.

“I’m going to keep you safe,” it says.  “I’m going to make sure you don’t get hurt again."

Resistance can show up in many ways.

It can show up as procrastination.  “After I lose this weight.  That’s when I’ll start.”

It can show up as distraction.  “I don’t have time for that right now.  I’m so busy.”

It can also show up as red alert.  Fight or flight.  Paralysis.  All systems down.

You can be sure that the moment you make a declaration for change.

The moment you begin to stretch your wings.

The instant you even consider stepping out of your comfort zone, your ego will put up a front.

It’s called resistance.

What is it for you?  How is your resistance showing up?

Does it happen in the morning as you turn your alarm off instead of starting your new morning routine?

Is it midday when you reach for a sugary snack instead of the apple you packed?

How about when you sit down to meditate?  I’d bet you never feel resistance then…

You are not alone, my friend.  Resistance is that glorious human part of us that is

perfectly imperfect.

Next time you are wondering why you aren't doing what you intend to do, try this:


  1. Notice what you’re noticing.  This is the first step in making any change.
  2. Sit with it. Get curious about it.  With kindness and compassion.  Why am I resisting?
  3. Just do it. Take action.  Override the resistance.  Create new patterns.  Freedom resides in every moment.

Fun. Flow. Freedom.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


*Do you need help changing patterns?  Start here with this complimentary series of Life By Design Daily Affirmations.  These affirmations are designed with care to remind you of who you are, all that you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first affirmation is the most important.)  Enjoy!


Rise and Shine

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Morning.  Early Morning.  Before my family wakes.  Is my favorite time of day.

In the quiet stillness.  The dawn of a new day of life.

It’s my time.  To fill my cup.  To feed my mind, my body and my soul.

It isn’t always easy, this rising and shining.  Many mornings I just don’t feel like leaving a delightful dream, the comfort of my bed, the warmth of my husband next to me.  But I have made a commitment to myself.  To my own self-care.  For making more time in the day just for me.

I am always rewarded.  Always grateful.  That I thought enough of me to give myself this gift of a morning.

My morning ritual has changed here and there.  With the needs of my soul.  With the season of my life.  With whatever I may be dabbling in at the time.  But the elements are pretty much the same.  They feed me, sustain me, give me the strength I sometimes need to move through my day.

My Absolute YES!

  1. A Brisk Walk to connect with nature and my own physical form
  2. Yoga to reunite my mind, body and soul
  3. Meditation to harmonize with my own life essence
  4. Gratitude to align myself with the generosity of the Universe
  5. Dreaming to explore the endless possibilities that are available to me

A new day.

A fresh start.

How glorious!

I can choose, this day, to see the world differently.

Wishing you well,

Tracy

Need help creating a meaningful morning ritual?  CLICK HERE to schedule a Fun Flow & Freedom Clarity Call.

Photo Credit:  @carlijeen

100 Ways

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One of the best ways I’ve found to generate joy in my life is my gratitude practice.

I do it first thing in the morning as part of my morning ritual.

In my dedicated gratitude journal, every day.

I review the day before and create a simple list of 10 things I am grateful for.

Sometimes the items on the list are as basic as being grateful for my gratitude practice.

Other times they may involve something more complex, such as the day after my accident.

On that day, I was grateful for my life, that my children were snug in their beds at the time, and so much more.

Some days it is a challenge, depending on my thought management.

But it always helps me to see things differently.

To find the good, the joy, the beauty in life.

This has not always been easy for me.

In my former life, I saw the glass half empty.

But and what if were constants in my mind chatter and my word.

Now, I look forward to my gratitude practice, the opportunity to start the day with grateful eyes.

I kick started my gratitude practice by creating a list of 100 people I am grateful for.

At first this task felt daunting, so I wrote daily for a week, reflecting each day on my life.

I started with my present life and progressed backward in time…life with kids, life with my husband before kids, adult life before my husband, early adulthood, childhood…

I was amazed to find that when I was finished I had over 125 people on my list.

I am still adding to that list.

And you are on it:)

Wishing you well

Tracy

Need help starting a gratitude practice?  Schedule a Mini Clarity Session today!

The Gift of Forgiveness

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gift_© Jinyoung Lee Dreamstime Stock Photos (640x461)

Do you ever find yourself returning to the same incident in your mind over and over again?  Maybe it happened an hour ago, 2 years ago, 20 years ago, maybe even in childhood?  You find yourself returning to the scenario, often spinning tall tales about how it could have been different, how it could have been avoided, what you should have said, how wrong the other person was.  You find yourself feeling resentment towards another person or yourself.  No matter how hard you try, you find it difficult to let it go.

Forgiveness is a natural remedy for resentment, regardless of how unnatural it may feel.  The word forgiveness can conjure up some strong emotions.  There is a misunderstanding that forgiveness means that we should release someone for doing something that may have even been a horrific act.  That we make whatever they did OK.  Forgiveness is NOT for the other person.  It is absolutely NOT to make whatever they did OK.

Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves.  It is the gift of freeing up the valuable space in our minds that could be used for something constructive like solving problems, being present with another human being, feeling joy or creating dreams for our future.  It also frees us up from returning to those emotional and physiological feelings that just don’t feel good in our bodies and that can often be harmful.

I didn’t always know this.  As a matter of fact, I thought I had been “practicing forgiveness” for many, many, MANY years.  I couldn’t figure out why the resentment never really went away.  I now understand that forgiveness is a daily practice.  As long as we are breathing, we have something to forgive.  It’s like peeling back the layers of an onion.  We peel back a layer only to see that there is another layer behind it.

In the process of breaking apart my own life some years ago I learned some invaluable tools for forgiveness.  I had the good fortune of practicing my new tools on a person in my life with whom I was experiencing quite a bit of resentment.  Whenever this person came into my awareness, and at the time it was a lot, my throat would become constricted, my shoulders would drift toward my ears and I would begin to feel a defensive shift in my body, it was quite uncomfortable.  I realized one day, after I had been practicing my new tools daily, that I didn’t have that uncomfortable feeling as much anymore.  It was a marked difference for me.  It felt as if a weight had been lifted from me and I was able to see this person in a whole new light.

Ho'oponopono is one these practices.  It is an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness.  It is simple but powerful.  It involves saying the following 3 phrases quietly in the mind, repeatedly.  Sometimes it takes a few rounds to feel the shift and sometimes it requires many.  Done regularly, it can change your life!

“I AM Sorry…Please Forgive Me”

“Thank you…I Am Grateful”

“I Love You”

By saying I’m Sorry…Please Forgive Me, I am acknowledging judgement and asking forgiveness for this judgement.

By saying Thank You…I AM Grateful, I am expressing gratitude for the opportunity to clear resentful thoughts.

By saying I Love You, I am generating a sense of joy, happiness and abundance.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy

Need help starting a forgiveness practice?  Schedule a Mini Clarity Session today!

Photo Credit:  gift_© Jinyoung Lee Dreamstime

The Ripple

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“Only in stillness does the imperceivable become discernible” ― Bryant McGill

How many times have you had a problem that you were trying to solve only to come up with the same 5 answers? Like Ground Hog Day…asking the same questions, getting the same answers that just don’t work.

I recently learned this cool concept about casting a thought into stillness. It’s not the concept that is new, but the way it was presented that made soooo much sense. It has completely changed my daily meditation practice.

Imagine the ripple a rock makes when thrown into a still pond. The ripple is clear and distinct and has far reaching effects. Now, imagine throwing a rock into the choppy surface of the same pond on a windy day. The ripple made by the rock gets absorbed by the chaos on the windy surface making it impossible to differentiate.

So, we can apply this concept to our minds as well. When we are faced with a problem and are searching for an answer, it is much more effective to throw a question into a still mind, as in meditation (or your "presence practice"), where the question permeates out into the “infi-net”. A question thrown into our daily consciousness is likely to get swept away with the 60,000 other thoughts that consume our minds, many of which are the same thoughts we had yesterday, making it impossible to differentiate one thought from the next.

Try this…

  • Find a quiet place, anyplace you can be alone for 10 minutes – in a corner, in your bed, outside, in a closet…be creative!
  • Set a timer for 10 minutes.
  • Ask a question such as “What is the most elegant solution to…?” (What questions work better than how questions.)
  • Quiet your mind, focus on your breath, count backwards, repeat a mantra, whatever method works best for you to bring your mind back to stillness.

The answers may not come immediately or in the usual ways, but be open to what comes into your awareness over the next few days in the form of thoughts, conversations, messages etc…

Shine Brightly,

Tracy

Want support in asking high quality questions?  Click Here to schedule your Fun Flow & Freedom Clarity Call today.

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Yes!

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There has been a lot of buzz as of late about choosing a word of the year. Usually I have many but this year I chose Yes!  Actually, I have been dabbling in Yes! for several years, since I started breaking apart my life, but this year I’m all in!

At first it may feel a bit selfish to say Yes! A bit unnatural.  But once you get the hang of it you will wonder why you waited so long.  Yes! is exciting and terrifying all in one.  Yes! opens doors, renews relationships and frees you to be you.  Choosing Yes! gives your children permission to say Yes!  To be authentic.  To live their truth.

This year I say…

Yes! to my health.

Yes! to my family.

Yes! to my dreams.

Yes! to abundance.

And

Yes! to No!


If you haven’t yet, watch Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday interview with Shonda Rhimes, creator and producer of the award winning series Grey’s Anatomy and Scandal to name a few.  She recently wrote a book called Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person(now on my must read list). She made the bold move two years ago of saying Yes! to her life and it changed her in ways she could not have imagined.  Her year of Yes! lead her to some incredible experiences she would not have otherwise had, losing weight, letting go of what no longer served her and most importantly, showing up for her children as the empowered, present mama she is.

Thank you Shonda! For being brave, sharing your story with the world and being you!


Fun. Flow. Freedom.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy

*Do you need help saying YES to youSTART HERE with this complimentary series of Life By Design Daily Affirmations.  These affirmations are designed with care to remind you of who you are, all that you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first affirmation is the most important.)  Enjoy!

Photo Credit:  making choice © Eduardkraft  Dreamstime