Cultivating Worthiness

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At the end of a talk I gave recently, one of the participants asked me what I did to begin changing my life.  On my ride home that night I realized that I never really answered the question.  I answered the why – my son showed me that he needed me to be an empowered role model.  Not the what. 

After giving it some thought it was clear to me that the very first place I started was by increasing my sense of worthiness.  Hands down.  I HAD to believe I was worthy of a better life or I would never have been able to make the changes necessary. 

  • I would not have been able to let go of what no longer served me. 
  • I would not have been able to put myself and my self-care first. 
  • I would not have been able to establish boundaries and teach others how to treat me. 

It was uncomfortable. It was painful.  It upset my loved ones who had been so used to me being a certain way. 

Saying yes when I really wanted to say no.  Putting everyone else first. 

Holding my tongue when I had something important to say.  Being what others wanted me to be instead of being authentically me. 

Eventually the dust settled.  I became more comfortable in my new way of being.  My loved ones became more comfortable with my new way being. 

Once I changed my inner world, my outer world began to change.  I noticed books on my husband’s book shelf that I never thought he’d choose.  My mother, who I had been badgering to make a move, decided to move to town.  My dad and I began a new relationship with each other.  My tribe began to show up. 

It all began with this daily affirmation:  I AM Worthy. 

I read this affirmation day and night.  Night and day.  Until I believed it.  Until I understood that my worthiness comes from inside and that I didn’t need anything to be more worthy than I already was.

I still use affirmations.  All day.  Every day.  Because I am human and sometimes I forget that I am worthy just the way I am. 

And so are you.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


Do you need help cultivating worthiness?  Studies show that daily affirmations can help reduce stress, boost well-being and increase confidence.  Click the Daily Affirmations button below and get Life By Design Daily Affirmations in your inbox.  Designed with care to remind you of who you are, what you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first one is the most important.)  Enjoy!


Photo Credit:  Aki Tolentino on Unsplash

 

Shining the Light on the Dark

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Life is interesting isn’t it?  The yin and yang of this human experience.

Light and dark

Good and bad

Possible and impossible

We are conditioned to believe that it has to be one way or another.  But, what if what we are telling ourselves is not true?

It was Henry Ford who once said “whether you think you can or you think you can’t you’re right.”

What if we could see the good in the bad?

Shine the light on the dark?

Create the possible out of the impossible?

As rigorous as life becomes at times, we can always count on the fact that the sun always rises.

What if we were to clear our limiting beliefs simply by changing our thoughts about any circumstance that comes our way?

Think about the power in that.  And, realize that you have that power within you.


Try this:

  • Fold a piece of paper in half lengthwise
  • Write an “impossible” situation in your life across the top
  • Write a list of the possible negative outcomes on the left side
  • Write a counter list of possible positive outcomes on the right side
  • When your mind turns to the negative, replace the thought with all that could go right

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


Do you need help shining the light on the dark?  Studies show that daily affirmations can help reduce stress, boost well-being and increase confidence.  Click the START HERE button below and get Life By Design Daily Affirmations in your inbox.  Designed with care to remind you of who you are, what you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first one is the most important.)  Enjoy!


Photo Credit:  Alex on Unsplash


Ruby Slippers

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For most of my adult life I searched for inner peace outside of myself. I looked for it in relationships, in education, in jobs, in books, in workshops, in exercise, in food, in alcohol, in this, in that, in the other thing.  Did I mention baked goods…???

I searched and searched for the magic bullet, the ruby slipper that would take me home to my essence, my joy, the happy life I so desired.

Although I often felt like I was on the verge of greatness, my paradigms (those pesky buggers) always managed to keep me stuck in my story, in my circumstances, in my regrets from the past and my fears about the future.

There was a shadow or two residing deep inside of me that held me back. That kept me from experiencing the peace, joy and happiness I sought and now know I deserve.  There is an odd comfort in staying in the darkness.  We know it, it is familiar, we can relate to others because of it.  And, honestly, it may be an epic story.

My first born, my greatest teacher, taught me a lesson about staying in my story. That staying in my story kept my loved ones in the story as well.  He taught me that I really did have the Ruby Slippers I so desired.  All I needed to do was put them on.  Trust in the magic and I’d be on my way back home.

I am not perfect.  I am human. I am perfectly imperfect.  I sometimes lose track of my Ruby Slippers.  Think that I’ve lost them.  But now I know that they are always there for me.  They always fit. 

You have a pair too! Try them on.  They may feel a bit awkward at first, but I promise you will find your own way of wearing them.

Fun. Flow. Freedom.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


* Do you need help finding your ruby slippers?  Start here with this complimentary series of Life By Design Daily Affirmations. These affirmations are designed with care to remind you of who you are, all that you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first one is the most important.)  Enjoy!


Photo Credit:  © Sergey Kishan

On BEing

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Each day I shower.

Each day I imagine.

Each day I shower as the woman I imagine myself BEcoming.

 

I put her on.

I act as if I AM that woman.

The woman I am BEcoming.

 

I see the steam.

I smell the shampoo.

I feel the warm water run down my back like she does.

 

I think.

I plan.

I shower as if I am the future me.

 

I create future memory.

Cells of recognition.

Of how incredibly amazing it feels to be the woman I am 3 years from today.


Try this:

  • Imagine yourself 3 years from today.  Loving your life. 
  • Put it on with your 5 senses.  What do you see, feel, hear, smell, taste?
  • Ask yourself "What step would my future self tell me to take today?"
  • Take that step.

Fun. Flow. Freedom.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


Do you need help imagining a life you would love living?  Start here with this complimentary series of Life By Design Daily Affirmations.  Designed with care to remind you of who you are, what you are capable of and how much you rock. (The first one is the most important.)  Enjoy!


Photo Credit:  © creativecommonsstockphotos

A Soft Place to Land

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What does your soul desire?  What does your soul need?  What fills your soul to the brim?

There are as many ways to feed a soul as there are souls to feed.  We have each come into this human form with our own lessons to learn.  Our own mountains to climb. 

Our soul print is as individual as our thumbprint.  We are at the same time connected as one on the spiritual level and unique on the human level. 

We each have our own purpose in this lifetime and it begins with creating a soft place to land.  For ourselves first and then for others.  We must fill our own cups to the brim so that we are able to give from the overflow.  

Most of us come at this with the belief that we must put the needs of others first.  I find this especially true of mothers.  There is this misconception that we must give all we've got to our families before tending to our own needs. 

I learned the hard way, after a herniated disc, chronic fatigue and a clear reflection from my then 3 year old, a highly sensitive old soul, of how poorly I was treating myself. 

As much as I don't love to get up early, I found that the best way to create a soft place for myself to land was to get up and out of bed. 

Early Morning.  Before my family wakes.  Is now my favorite time of day.

In the quiet stillness.  The dawn of a new day of life.

It’s my time.  To fill my cup.  To feed my mind, my body and my soul.

Try this to create a soft place for yourself to land:

  • Get Clear - Imagine:  Who would I love to BE for myself? Who would I love to BE for my family? Who would I love to BE in the world? (ex. I AM at my ideal weight. I AM present with my family. I AM a spreader of joy.)   

  • Create Stillness - Pause. Breathe. Ask. Listen.  - Ask yourself this question into the stillness and then listen.  What can I do with what I have to BEcome the woman I imagined above? (Ex. Get up early and walk.  Put my phone down and give my child my full attention.  Get out of the house, smile and share my light with everyone I encounter.)

  • Take Action - Incorporate one new idea into your life at a time.  When you have fully created the habit, incorporate another new idea into your life. 

Fun. Flow. Freedom.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy


*Do you need help creating a soft place to land?  Start here with this complimentary series of Life By Design Daily Affirmations.  These affirmations are designed with care to remind you of who you are, all that you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first affirmation is the most important.)  Enjoy!


Photo Credit:  @carlijeen

Rise and Shine

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Morning.  Early Morning.  Before my family wakes.  Is my favorite time of day.

In the quiet stillness.  The dawn of a new day of life.

It’s my time.  To fill my cup.  To feed my mind, my body and my soul.

It isn’t always easy, this rising and shining.  Many mornings I just don’t feel like leaving a delightful dream, the comfort of my bed, the warmth of my husband next to me.  But I have made a commitment to myself.  To my own self-care.  For making more time in the day just for me.

I am always rewarded.  Always grateful.  That I thought enough of me to give myself this gift of a morning.

My morning ritual has changed here and there.  With the needs of my soul.  With the season of my life.  With whatever I may be dabbling in at the time.  But the elements are pretty much the same.  They feed me, sustain me, give me the strength I sometimes need to move through my day.

My Absolute YES!

  1. A Brisk Walk to connect with nature and my own physical form
  2. Yoga to reunite my mind, body and soul
  3. Meditation to harmonize with my own life essence
  4. Gratitude to align myself with the generosity of the Universe
  5. Dreaming to explore the endless possibilities that are available to me

A new day.

A fresh start.

How glorious!

I can choose, this day, to see the world differently.

Wishing you well,

Tracy

Need help creating a meaningful morning ritual?  CLICK HERE to schedule a Fun Flow & Freedom Clarity Call.

Photo Credit:  @carlijeen

100 Ways

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One of the best ways I’ve found to generate joy in my life is my gratitude practice.

I do it first thing in the morning as part of my morning ritual.

In my dedicated gratitude journal, every day.

I review the day before and create a simple list of 10 things I am grateful for.

Sometimes the items on the list are as basic as being grateful for my gratitude practice.

Other times they may involve something more complex, such as the day after my accident.

On that day, I was grateful for my life, that my children were snug in their beds at the time, and so much more.

Some days it is a challenge, depending on my thought management.

But it always helps me to see things differently.

To find the good, the joy, the beauty in life.

This has not always been easy for me.

In my former life, I saw the glass half empty.

But and what if were constants in my mind chatter and my word.

Now, I look forward to my gratitude practice, the opportunity to start the day with grateful eyes.

I kick started my gratitude practice by creating a list of 100 people I am grateful for.

At first this task felt daunting, so I wrote daily for a week, reflecting each day on my life.

I started with my present life and progressed backward in time…life with kids, life with my husband before kids, adult life before my husband, early adulthood, childhood…

I was amazed to find that when I was finished I had over 125 people on my list.

I am still adding to that list.

And you are on it:)

Wishing you well

Tracy

Need help starting a gratitude practice?  Schedule a Mini Clarity Session today!

The Gift of Forgiveness

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gift_© Jinyoung Lee Dreamstime Stock Photos (640x461)

Do you ever find yourself returning to the same incident in your mind over and over again?  Maybe it happened an hour ago, 2 years ago, 20 years ago, maybe even in childhood?  You find yourself returning to the scenario, often spinning tall tales about how it could have been different, how it could have been avoided, what you should have said, how wrong the other person was.  You find yourself feeling resentment towards another person or yourself.  No matter how hard you try, you find it difficult to let it go.

Forgiveness is a natural remedy for resentment, regardless of how unnatural it may feel.  The word forgiveness can conjure up some strong emotions.  There is a misunderstanding that forgiveness means that we should release someone for doing something that may have even been a horrific act.  That we make whatever they did OK.  Forgiveness is NOT for the other person.  It is absolutely NOT to make whatever they did OK.

Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves.  It is the gift of freeing up the valuable space in our minds that could be used for something constructive like solving problems, being present with another human being, feeling joy or creating dreams for our future.  It also frees us up from returning to those emotional and physiological feelings that just don’t feel good in our bodies and that can often be harmful.

I didn’t always know this.  As a matter of fact, I thought I had been “practicing forgiveness” for many, many, MANY years.  I couldn’t figure out why the resentment never really went away.  I now understand that forgiveness is a daily practice.  As long as we are breathing, we have something to forgive.  It’s like peeling back the layers of an onion.  We peel back a layer only to see that there is another layer behind it.

In the process of breaking apart my own life some years ago I learned some invaluable tools for forgiveness.  I had the good fortune of practicing my new tools on a person in my life with whom I was experiencing quite a bit of resentment.  Whenever this person came into my awareness, and at the time it was a lot, my throat would become constricted, my shoulders would drift toward my ears and I would begin to feel a defensive shift in my body, it was quite uncomfortable.  I realized one day, after I had been practicing my new tools daily, that I didn’t have that uncomfortable feeling as much anymore.  It was a marked difference for me.  It felt as if a weight had been lifted from me and I was able to see this person in a whole new light.

Ho'oponopono is one these practices.  It is an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness.  It is simple but powerful.  It involves saying the following 3 phrases quietly in the mind, repeatedly.  Sometimes it takes a few rounds to feel the shift and sometimes it requires many.  Done regularly, it can change your life!

“I AM Sorry…Please Forgive Me”

“Thank you…I Am Grateful”

“I Love You”

By saying I’m Sorry…Please Forgive Me, I am acknowledging judgement and asking forgiveness for this judgement.

By saying Thank You…I AM Grateful, I am expressing gratitude for the opportunity to clear resentful thoughts.

By saying I Love You, I am generating a sense of joy, happiness and abundance.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy

Need help starting a forgiveness practice?  Schedule a Mini Clarity Session today!

Photo Credit:  gift_© Jinyoung Lee Dreamstime

The Ripple

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“Only in stillness does the imperceivable become discernible” ― Bryant McGill

How many times have you had a problem that you were trying to solve only to come up with the same 5 answers? Like Ground Hog Day…asking the same questions, getting the same answers that just don’t work.

I recently learned this cool concept about casting a thought into stillness. It’s not the concept that is new, but the way it was presented that made soooo much sense. It has completely changed my daily meditation practice.

Imagine the ripple a rock makes when thrown into a still pond. The ripple is clear and distinct and has far reaching effects. Now, imagine throwing a rock into the choppy surface of the same pond on a windy day. The ripple made by the rock gets absorbed by the chaos on the windy surface making it impossible to differentiate.

So, we can apply this concept to our minds as well. When we are faced with a problem and are searching for an answer, it is much more effective to throw a question into a still mind, as in meditation (or your "presence practice"), where the question permeates out into the “infi-net”. A question thrown into our daily consciousness is likely to get swept away with the 60,000 other thoughts that consume our minds, many of which are the same thoughts we had yesterday, making it impossible to differentiate one thought from the next.

Try this…

  • Find a quiet place, anyplace you can be alone for 10 minutes – in a corner, in your bed, outside, in a closet…be creative!
  • Set a timer for 10 minutes.
  • Ask a question such as “What is the most elegant solution to…?” (What questions work better than how questions.)
  • Quiet your mind, focus on your breath, count backwards, repeat a mantra, whatever method works best for you to bring your mind back to stillness.

The answers may not come immediately or in the usual ways, but be open to what comes into your awareness over the next few days in the form of thoughts, conversations, messages etc…

Shine Brightly,

Tracy

Want support in asking high quality questions?  Click Here to schedule your Fun Flow & Freedom Clarity Call today.

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Yes!

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There has been a lot of buzz as of late about choosing a word of the year. Usually I have many but this year I chose Yes!  Actually, I have been dabbling in Yes! for several years, since I started breaking apart my life, but this year I’m all in!

At first it may feel a bit selfish to say Yes! A bit unnatural.  But once you get the hang of it you will wonder why you waited so long.  Yes! is exciting and terrifying all in one.  Yes! opens doors, renews relationships and frees you to be you.  Choosing Yes! gives your children permission to say Yes!  To be authentic.  To live their truth.

This year I say…

Yes! to my health.

Yes! to my family.

Yes! to my dreams.

Yes! to abundance.

And

Yes! to No!


If you haven’t yet, watch Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday interview with Shonda Rhimes, creator and producer of the award winning series Grey’s Anatomy and Scandal to name a few.  She recently wrote a book called Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person(now on my must read list). She made the bold move two years ago of saying Yes! to her life and it changed her in ways she could not have imagined.  Her year of Yes! lead her to some incredible experiences she would not have otherwise had, losing weight, letting go of what no longer served her and most importantly, showing up for her children as the empowered, present mama she is.

Thank you Shonda! For being brave, sharing your story with the world and being you!


Fun. Flow. Freedom.

Shine Brightly,

Tracy

*Do you need help saying YES to youSTART HERE with this complimentary series of Life By Design Daily Affirmations.  These affirmations are designed with care to remind you of who you are, all that you are capable of and how much you rock.  (The first affirmation is the most important.)  Enjoy!

Photo Credit:  making choice © Eduardkraft  Dreamstime

A Fond Farewell To 2015

Year End Reflection “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change.” Wayne Dyer

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In the past few weeks I’ve taken some time to reflect on 2015, with compassion and gratitude. It was an eventful year.  A year full of many blessings, in disguise and outright.  And some real opportunities for growth.  I have come out of it with a greater understanding of myself and a new perspective on my life and the way I wish to proceed into the New Year.

With my previous awareness I would have called it a BIG YEAR. A year of the good, the bad and the ugly.  Accentuating the ugly.  It happened to be a year that was unusually full of circumstances.  Some created by me and others by the grace of the divine.  I am finally beginning to understand that it is only BIG if I label it as such.  If I call it BIG it becomes bigger than me.  It’s the thought about the circumstance that makes it bigger than me.  The circumstance is just a circumstance.  A circumstance is “the way something happens” as Encarta describes it.

In all of the decades of knowing this, by George, I think I am finally getting it! It hasn’t happened over night.  I still find myself getting stuck in the thought about a circumstance.  Grabbing ahold of that thought and telling myself a tall tale about that circumstance.  But, now, my recovery time is quicker.  I know that this is a never ending process.  The redirection of my thoughts.  The lesson of a lifetime.  But I am grateful for the awareness and the opportunity to practice.

So…get out your calendar from 2015, a pen and your journal. Take a close look at the events that unfolded.  Journal it out.  Do a mind-dump.  Then, find the good in each circumstance.  Find the hidden blessings.  Rewrite last year’s story with compassion for the woman who experienced those circumstances and thank her for where she is today.

Wishing you well

Tracy

Do you need help rewriting last year's story?  Click Here to schedule your Mini Clarity Session today.

Photo Credit:  fireworks2© Mike Watson Dreamstime

"We Can't Redo Life Mommy"

A Six Year Old’s Words of Wisdom "The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience." – Eleanor Roosevelt

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My son, who was born at least 40 years old, said this when he was 5 or 6.  I have spent the past 8 years writing quotes from my children on scrap pieces of paper to do what with I am not quite sure but this quote, “we can’t redo life mommy”, is posted on my wall so I can see it every morning when I wake.  He has surprised me from the moment he started talking with the depth of his thinking and the insight he brings to my world.  His first word was clock.  Not mum or dada or dog or tat, but clock?!?

I can’t remember the context from which the quote came but I do remember the impact.  Have I lived?  If I were to die tomorrow or 50 years from now for that matter, how would I want to be remembered by my children?  How did my life impact them and how did my life impact their children?  Will they want to follow in my footsteps or will I be a faint memory of brown hair and blue eyes?

As I pondered this quote I made a list of all of the ways I’d like to be remembered… as a loving, happy, present, caring, compassionate, patient, wise, strong, playful, fun, funny, forgiving, grateful, giving, tender mother who makes a difference in the lives she touches. Most importantly, though, I want to be remembered as a mother who loved her life.  I want to be an inspiration to my children to love their lives.  This might have been the moment when I started breaking my life apart, inspecting it piece by piece under a microscope, and vowing to live the next half of my life much differently than the first if only to be an inspiration to my children.  I don’t recommend doing this all at once, as I did, as it really rocks the world of those around you and once it’s out it can’t be stuffed back in.  I know this…I tried!  I’m still working on it but I love my life so much more these days as I make a conscious effort to live authentically in hopes that my children will do the same.

Wishing you well.

Tracy

Do you need help living authentically?  Click Here to schedule your Mini Clarity Session today.

Photo Credit:  Brown thank you card on pink and blue small bottle © Creative commons stock photos Dreamstime